富裕还是贫穷

原作者：
来源For richer,for poorer
译者游弋 白云

For Richer, for Poorer

                                          富裕还是贫穷？

My father had four daughters. To his misfortune, the days of arranged marriages were long gone. He found he had little say over our choice of husbands. One by one, we got married. For the first, he threw a lavish church wedding and reception dinner. His first son-in-law was not wealthy but he was gainfully employed. What more could he ask?

      父亲有四个女儿。不幸的是，包办婚姻的日子已经一去不复返了。在我们择夫方面，父亲觉得自己几乎没有什么发言权。我们四姐妹相继结婚。他为大女儿办了一个奢华的教堂婚礼和招待酒会。大女婿并不富裕，但是他是带薪工作。他还能有什么可要求的呢？

His second son-in-law had known my sister since they were in middle school, and I was still in elementary school. I grew up thinking he was like the brother I never had. My father loved him like a son even though he, like son-in-law number one, was not rich.

      二女婿在初中时就认识我姐姐了，我当时还在上小学。随着我的长大，我越发觉得他就想我从未谋面的哥哥。我父亲把他当作自己的亲生儿子一样爱他，即便他也像大女婿一样，并不富有。

Son-in-law number three also didn’t have much money. He and my sister met at the local community college. My father frowned to learn he had a low-paying job, but he was going to school and that provided some hope. But then, they divorced. Her second husband was a bellman.

      三女婿同样不是很有钱。他和我姐姐是在当地的社区大学认识的。知道他只有一个低薪工作，父亲皱眉不快，但是姐夫想继续深造，这多少给了父亲一点希望。可是之后，他们离婚了。姐姐的后夫只是一个传达员。

When it came time for me to marry, my father decided to dole out some wisdom. “Lori, it is just as easy to love a rich man as it is to love a poor man,” he said. I loved when he tried to give us advice. He always used age-old adages. His favorites were from Benjamin Franklin. I regret that in my naïveté, I considered these good talks to be opportunities to spar instead of to learn. But when he brought up loving a rich man, for some reason, it offended me deeply.

      当轮到我结婚的时候，我父亲决定要留个心眼。“萝莉，爱一个富翁和爱一个穷人是一样的，”他说道。我喜欢他给我们提忠告的时候。他总喜欢引用用古训。他最喜欢本杰明.富兰克林的话。我后悔当初的单纯无知，我把那些忠告当作耳边风，没有好好学习。可是当他提出让我嫁给富人时，出于某种原因，我深恶痛绝。

“What?” I cried. “How can you say that? I want to marry for love. NOT for money.”

       “什么？”我喊道。“你怎么能说出这种话？我想为爱而婚。而不是金钱。”

“But why not marry someone you love who has money?”

       “但是为什么不嫁给一个既有钱，你又爱他的人呢？”

“Rich men are materialistic,” I scoffed. “They only want arm candy and then they throw their women away when they get old just to get younger arm candy. I’d rather marry a poor man who loves me.”

      “有钱人是很实利的，”我鄙夷的说。“他们只喜欢漂亮女人，可是当那些她们人老珠黄时，富人就会抛弃她们而去找更年轻漂亮的女孩。我宁愿嫁给一个爱我的穷人。”

He gave up.

       他妥协了。

True to my word, I married for love and not for money. The proof: my husband didn’t have money. And as we slogged along, scraping by with a growing family and a meager salary, I learned why my father put such importance on money. The stress and strain of making a small paycheck stretch to cover the rent, cars, electricity, gas, food, and medical bills was overwhelming. The worries over whether we’d be evicted or if we had the money to wash our clothes at the laundry mat this week made me question if I did the right thing by opting to stay home full-time with the kids instead of going back to work.

      正如和我所说的一样，我是为爱而嫁而不是为钱。证据：我的丈夫没有钱。随着我们的生活越来越困难，家人增多，工资微薄，我们只能勉强维持生计，终于明白父亲为什么这么注重钱财。我们只能用微薄的薪水去支付房租，汽车，电费，汽油，食物及医疗费，这些压力和负担让我们难以承受。

I realized, to my chagrin, that I had entered the ranks of the poor. Not that I’d ever been rich. Most of my life, I considered us in the lower middle-class rank. Nothing to boast about, but we were mostly content. We had a house of our own, food on the table, cars, clothes, and money for college. But now, as I listened to an apartment neighbor talk about her monthly “Mother’s Day” gift, I realized she was talking about her welfare check. And another young mother tried to “help” me out by connecting me with a friend who could shoplift baby clothes from an upscale department store. For a small cut, she said, I could return my “purchases” for cash. It sickened me. How low had we sunk?

      我懊恼的意识到我已经进入穷人的圈子，更不用提我一以前是否富裕了。我生命中的大部分时光，我认为是处在底层的中产阶级。没什么可炫耀的，但是我们对生活基本满意。我们有自己的房子，餐桌上食物充足，有车，有衣服，也有供孩子上大学的钱。然而现在，当我听到我的邻居谈及她每月的“母亲节”礼物时，我才知道她所说的正是她的福利金。而另一个年轻的妈妈试图“帮助”我走出困境，她帮我联系她的朋友，让我到高档商场偷婴儿服。为了削减一部分开支，她说我可以将“购买的衣服”出售换成现金。这着实让我很反感。我们已经沉沦到什么地步了呢？

I had a college education but wasn’t using it. I insisted on not missing a minute of our children’s childhood and it came at a price. My husband was working as hard as he could and it wasn’t enough. But somehow we made it.

     我上过大学但是知识并没派上用场。我一定不会错过孩子们童年时光的任何一分钟，而这代价是巨大的。我丈夫拼命工作，但那远远不够。尽管如此，我们还是挺过来了。

The kids grew. Today, we look back and see the remarkable values gained by going through those lean years. My children are not materialistic. They never thought they were poor growing up because we always managed to give a little bit of food, money, or clothes to the “poor.” They are not brand conscious nor are they greedy. They were content with the simple things in life that come free: A beach day, a horsey back ride from daddy, a story and a back scratching from mommy, pillow-and-blanket tents in the living room.

     孩子们渐渐长大，现在，回首过去，经历了这些年的风风雨雨，我们有了显著的收获。我的孩子们不是实利主义者。他们从未想过他们是在贫寒的生活中长大的，因为我们总是设法给一点点食物，钱，或者衣服给“穷人”。他们没有名牌意识，也不贪婪。他们对生活中免费而又简单的事情很知足：在海滩上玩一天，爸爸背着回家，妈妈讲讲故事或者挠挠背，在客厅搭“枕头床单”帐篷。

We had our worries, but we still treasured our very favorite part of the day when we’d snuggle under the covers and talk about our future, the kids, and how much we loved each other … no matter what. Sure our financial troubles caused a lot of fights, but we held onto each other and were thankful that our kisses were free.

     我们有自己的忧虑，但是我依然珍惜一天中最美好的时光，我们依偎在被窝里，谈论我们的未来，孩子们及彼此浓厚的爱...什么都可以。当然我们的财政问题会引起一些纷争，但是我们彼此紧紧吸引着，亲吻是免费的，我们很感激。

As the children grew, so did our income. We began to live a modest but better lifestyle. We moved to a better community with good schools for the kids. And soon, we’ll face a new challenge with wealth. But for richer and for poorer, I vowed, so I think we can manage.

     随着孩子们逐渐长大，我们的收入也逐渐提高。我们开始过一种朴实但是美好的生活。我们搬到一个更好地社区，在那里孩子们可以上更好地学校。不久，我们将要面对一个新的财政挑战。但是无论是富裕还是贫穷，我发誓，我们能够应付。

My father went to heaven years ago. And now he knows I made the right choice. We take the love we gather here on earth, but there’s no money in heaven. When my husband goes, he’ll be one of the wealthiest men there. And my father will be so proud of him.

     父亲已经去世多年了，现在他知道我做了正确的选择。我们带走在世时所汇聚的爱，但是天国没有钱财。当我的丈夫去世时，他将成为天国最富有的人。我的父亲会为他而自豪的。

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