E-mail发明前，人类曾用导弹寄快信！

译者 江烈农

A Touch of Knowledge: Missile Mail

知识一点灵：导弹快邮

Marc Hartzman

马克·哈茨曼（Marc Hartzman）

Author, Found on eBay, American Sideshow, and God Made Me Do It

作者著有《这是我在eBay上找到的》、《美国幻灯秀》、《上帝叫我这么做》等书

Posted: 9/13/11 12:25 PM ET

《赫芬顿邮报》奇闻版（Weird News | The Huffington Post）2011年9月13日讯

译者：江烈农

The history of the post office is rarely of interest to anyone but the uniquely eager philatelist. However, its finer quirks may prove fascinating to both the intelligentsia and dullards alike. Missile mail, in particular, is worthy of occupying a small nugget of the brain.

　　一提到邮局的历史，除了那些特别痴迷的集邮家外，恐怕很难再有谁会感兴趣。然而，邮政史上着实有一些稀奇古怪的玩意儿，可能既会勾起知识分子的兴趣，也会吸引榆木脑袋的目光。特别值得一提的，是“导弹快邮”，这条小知识绝对值得占据一点点你珍贵的脑容量。

It was a cold day in January of 1959 when United States Postmaster General, Arthur E. Summerfield, thought he had stumbled upon a stroke of genius. Not one to dilly dally with such a mental feat, he hastily made a bold and proud statement promising tax-paying citizens that before man reached the moon, "your mail will be delivered within hours from New York to California, to England, to India or to Australia by guided missiles." He nearly made his prediction a reality. Just six months later, on June 9, he launched a Regulus I guided missile carrying 3,000 pieces of souvenir mail. High-ranking officials such as President Eisenhower and Supreme Court justices were among the lucky recipients.

　　1959年1月的某天，天寒地冻，美国邮政总长亚瑟·厄·萨莫尔菲尔德（Arthur E. Summerfield）灵光一闪，想出一个令自己都佩服不已的点子来。如此人类知识创举岂容耽搁，他旋即大胆并骄傲地向美国纳税者们宣布，虽然人类暂时还没能登上月球，但“今后你们写信，只需几个小时就可以从纽约寄到加利福尼亚，寄到英国、印度、澳大利亚……因为我们将开启导弹投递的新纪元！”他这预言差点就成功了。仅六个月后，6月9日那天，他下令发射了一枚天狮星一型导弹（Regulus I），导弹运载了3000封纪念信，幸运的收信人中不乏艾森豪威尔总统、最高法院大法官等身居要为的高官。

美国海军巴贝罗号潜艇（USS Barbero）发射的导弹快邮纪念首日封，回信地址收件人正是邮政总长本人 | 图片来源：维基百科

1959年，美国海军巴贝罗号潜艇（USS Barbero）发射一枚天狮星巡航导弹（SSM-N-8 Regulus I） | 图片来源：凤凰网

1957年，美国海军巴尔迪磨级重巡洋舰洛杉矶号（USS CA-135）发射一枚天狮星巡航导弹（SSM-N-8 Regulus I） | 图片来源：维基百科

天狮星巡航导弹（SSM-N-8 Regulus I） | 图片来源：维基百科

"This peacetime employment of a guided missile for the important and practical purpose of carrying mail is the first known official use of missiles by any post office department of any nation," Summerfield claimed.

　　据萨莫尔菲尔德称：“和平时期如此正式地利用导弹，实现运载邮件这一重要实用目的，在任何国家、任何邮政部门而言，都是一项创举。”

Summerfield's missile was fired from the U.S.S. Barbero submarine 100 miles off the Atlantic coast to a naval air station near Jacksonville, FL. Navy planes guided the missile by radio control to its parachute landing in just 22 minutes. The Postmaster said this novel way of sending birthday cards, pen pal letters, and unwanted junk mail was "of historic significance to the peoples of the entire world."

　　萨莫尔菲尔德此次导弹是通过美国海军巴贝罗号潜艇（USS Barbero）发射，发射地据大西洋海岸100海里左右（约161公里），目的地则是佛罗里达州杰克逊维尔附近的一个海军航空站。海军出动飞机通过无线电对导弹制导，控制导弹于短短22分钟后降落着陆。邮政总长表示，通过这种新颖的方式发送生日贺卡、笔友信笺，以及没人要的垃圾邮件，是“对全世界人民而言都具有重大历史意义的”一件事。

Cost-efficiency doomed Summerfield's plan. But expenses weren't the only criticism of the high-flying Missile Mail. The day after the launch, the Los Angeles Times observed that the real need for speed was in handling mail before and after transport: "We hopefully look forward to the time when the lines in front of post office windows are jet propelled. Or when rocket belts are issued to those who manage to take a week to deliver a letter mailed within the same city."

　　成本效益注定了萨莫尔菲尔德这项计划的死路一条，但高额费用却并不是此项野心勃勃的导弹快邮计划遭批评的唯一原因。发射后的第二天，《洛杉矶时报》就指出，实际上真正需要提速的，是邮件运输前后的处理、分拣过程，报纸称：“我们希望今后有一天，能在邮局窗口前排队的时候体会到喷气式飞机一样的速度感，或是将来能给邮递员们配上火箭背包，这样同城邮件就不至于要花一个星期才能送到我们手上了。”

We continue to look forward to such a day.

　　我们继续期待着这一天的到来。