今冬小心犯法：美国人已成功注册“堆雪人”专利

译者 江烈农

Ignacio Marc Asperas Patented How To Build Snowman

美国小伙获“堆雪人”专利权

The Huffington Post Tara Kelly First Posted: 9/24/11 06:24 PM ET Updated: 9/24/11 06:32 PM ET

《赫芬顿邮报》奇闻版（Weird News | Huff Post）2011年9月24日讯

作者：塔拉·凯莉（Tara Kelly）

译者：江烈农

There is no shortage of bizarre patents, such as the wheeled flower pot and the crustless peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

　　这世界从来不缺稀奇古怪的专利，比如带轱辘的花盆，或者不带面包皮的花生酱、果冻三明治。

Ignacio Marc Asperas of Melville, N.Y., is now the official holder of another patent that should qualify for that list. Entitled “Apparatus for Facilitating the Construction of a Snow Man/Woman”, the 25-page patent document is an perfect how-to guide for making snowmen -- it even offers a brief history of snowman, which Asperas called "unknown."

　　家住纽约梅尔维尔的伊格纳西奥·马克·阿斯佩拉斯，最近刚注册了一项专利，也可以加进刚才那个怪专利的单子里面去。他这专利题为“实施建造男／女雪人的装置”，长达25页的专利文件中提供了一套完美的堆雪人指南（译注：点此链接下载完整PDF文件）；甚至还顺带提供了雪人简史——按阿斯佩拉斯的说法，叫做“不详”。

The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office granted Ignacio Marc Asperas of Melville, N.Y., the patent earlier this September, reports Geek.com, which he originally applied for back in 2006.

　　根据“极客”网（Geek.com）报道，今年九月早些时候，美国专利商标局授予了纽约梅尔维尔的伊格纳西奥·马克·阿斯佩拉斯此项专利；而他最初申请此项专利，则是2006年的事了。

And, no, Asperas said, this is no joke.

　　开玩笑？不。阿斯佩拉斯说了：我是很认真的。

From constructing a spherically shaped body to forming an adhesion surface, he outlined every obstacle faced when on a quest to build the "Ultimate Snowman."

　　从如何建造一个球体状的身体，到如何形成粘连面，他就如何打造“终极雪人”这一终极问题，概述了所有你可能会遇到的障碍。

Another favorite statement of his? "Compacted snow is virtually like ice." In the patent, he also expressed his disbelief that no one had ever registered a patent for a snowman, but he called the inventor "a genius."

　　再来听一条他的语录吧：“压实的雪实质上跟冰一样。”在专利中，他还表示他不相信竟然从未有人注册过雪人的专利；他将雪人的发明者称为“天才”。

So this winter, when you find yourself breaking your back like Asperas once did, just follow his steps. But be careful, Gawker jokes, just think of the potential lawsuits on the horizon.

　　所以呢，这个冬天，如果你跟阿斯佩拉斯一样，堆雪人时不小心扭到了腰，那你就该参考他的专利了，按他的步骤来。但要小心切莫以身试法哦；傻得儿网（Gawker）就开玩笑说，想想这专利将会引发的侵权案吧，真是搞笑死了。

专利文件中的插图 | 图片来源：免费在线专利网（freepatentsonline.com）