37种与孩子有效交流的方法

标签: 孩子 有效 交流 | 发表时间:2012-04-09 12:19 | 作者:金蝉s
出处:http://www.yeeyan.org

译者 金蝉s

By Steven Aitchison

 作者:Steven Aitchison

Expert Author Steven Aitchison

 

How often have you asked your kids 'How was school today?' and the reply was 'it was okay!' and that's it. My youngest son just started high school today and my wife and I have been nervous and anxious for him, although we've been careful not to show him this. I took a day off work so I could spend a little longer with him when dropping him off for school and then to pick him up again. It was heartbreaking to watch him go into school, 'He's all grown up.' I thought with a little lump in my throat, It's like time is slipping by and before we know it he'll be a grown man.

你会多久问一次你的孩子“今天学校生活如何?”然后会得到“还行”诸如此类的回答。我最小的儿子今天刚刚开始自己的高中生活,尽管我们并未在他面前表现出过多的忧虑,我和我的妻子对他的生活还是有点紧张和焦虑的。我请了一天假,这样当他从学校回来的时候我就有更多的时间相处,而且还能接他放学回家。看到他走进校园的时候,我还是有点心酸的,“他已经长大了”。我忍不住喉头发紧,当我们认识到他长大成人之前,时间就这么悄悄的流逝了。

Well, when I went to pick him up, I was all excited and asked:

 于是,当我接到他的是偶,我激动兴奋的问他:

'Well, how did it go?'

 “那么,今天过的怎么样?”

'It was okay' he said smiling, knowing I wanted to hear all about it. I eventually got some blood from the stone and he told me about it in dribs and drabs, however he seemed to enjoy it and has made a few friends already which is always good.

 他微笑地说着“还好啊”,他知道我想知道他今天在学校过的怎么样。最终我从孩子们的冷漠当中得到了真情,他告诉我了关于学校生活的点点滴滴,他似乎喜欢这的生活,而且在里面认识几个朋友也是很好的。

My other son, who is in his 3rd year at high school is exactly the same and sometimes I can't even get blood from that stone. I advised them that we have spent weeks worrying and feeling anxious for them and all we ask in return is a little information about their day at school. So I advise them to give a little more and not have my wife beat the hell out of them just to get a little info. My wife duly comes home, practically running in to see how they got on at school and thankfully they were a little more open.

 我另外一个儿子已经高中三年级了,情况有时差不多,不过有时我根本不能从他冰冷的态度当中得到更多。我告诉他们父母几个星期担心和忧虑你们,只是想知道你在学校里究竟过的还好不。所以我告诉他们跟我们谈谈更多有关自己学校生活的事情,而不只是只有他们的妈妈大吼大叫的时候才不得不说。感谢当我的孩子们乐于跟我们谈论学校生活的时候,我的妻子才算真正的回家了。

I guess it's just boys being boys, I remember being exactly the same and always wondered why my mum was so interested in my school activities. My niece, on the other hand, talks at 100 miles per hour and talks for hours.

 我想男孩子就是这样,我能回忆起类似的情景,那时候我就非常奇怪为什么我妈妈对我学校的生活这么感兴趣。另一个方面来说,我的侄女常常驱车几百英里,同父母们唠上几个小时

Here's a few tips I have learned over the years about communicating with children:

 下面是我这些年当中学到的与子女们沟通的一些小敲门:

1. Always be interested in their day, even if they don't want to tell you anything.

 1.总是对他们的生活充满兴趣,尽管他们不想跟你说任何事

2. Pay attention to them and make them feel as if they are the only person in the room when they speak to you.

 2、关注他们,但他们跟你谈话的时候,让他们知道房子里只有你们两个。

3. Make time to sit down with them in a relaxed manner to allow them to open up more.

 3.找个时间坐下来放松下来,让他们有个跟宽松的环境。

4. Sit down for family meals (One of the best decisions we made was to always make it a rule to all sit round the dinner table together).

 4.坐下来跟家人一起吃饭。(我们做的最好的决定就是全家人一起围着圆桌吃饭)

5. Keep eye contact to show you are listening.

 5.保持眼神的交流,显示你正在倾听

6. Don't dismiss the little things they tell you about.

 6.对他们告诉你的一些小事也不要忽视

7. Keep close to them when they are talking, don't have a conversation whilst you are in the kitchen and they are in their room.

 谈话的时候跟他们靠近些,别在厨房或者他们的卧室谈话

8. Show them you love them and always tell them you love them.

 8.告诉他们你爱他们,并且总是让他们知道这一点

9. Tell them you believe in them often.

 9.告诉他们你相信他们

10. Children are not your friends and letting them off with the small things could lead to bigger problems in the future.

 10.孩子不是你的朋友,如果放任他们的小失误的话可能导致未来的大麻烦。

11. Always listen to their side of the story if there are any arguments or rows going on.

 11.如果与他们有了争吵,总是倾听他们的看法

12. Praise them with every single thing they do well.

 12.当他们做的很好的时候予以鼓励

13. Be as open and honest as possible with them about EVERYTHING.

 13.与他们开放和坦诚任何事情

14. If you have more than 1 child make time so you can spend time alone together, even if it's driving to the shops.

 14.如果你不止一个孩子的时候,找时间与他们单独在一起,哪怕是开车去商店的路上也行

15. Read between the lines. Kids have a way of telling you something without directly telling you.

 15.学会理解孩子们的话,有时候,孩子们可能不会采取直接的方式告诉你某些事情

16. Don't interrupt children when they are trying to tell you something.

 16.当他们试图跟你谈话的时候,不要试图打断他们

17. Ask their opinion on something that's important to you and them.

 17.对于家庭有重大影响的事务征求他们的意见

18. Tell them about your day and encourage discussion.

 18.告诉他们关于你每天的生活,并鼓励他们的看法

19. Give them a hug at least 200 times per day:)

 19.每天至少200次拥抱

20. Always say please and thank you when speaking to your kids, they will develop manners this way.

 20.跟你的孩子共事的时候总是礼貌用语,这有助于养成他们良好的品德

21. Encourage them to voice their opinion on the big family decisions, like buying a house, a car etc.

 21.在买房买车这种家庭重大决定当中鼓励他们表达自己的看法

22. Tell them stories of when you were younger, kids always want to hear this.

 22.告诉他们你儿童时代的故事,孩子们总是喜欢听这些

23. Play games with them as much as possible.

 23.尽可能多与孩子们玩

24. Step into their world for a bit and get to learn what they like.

 24.走进他们的世界,了解他们的喜好

25. Become a child for a day and just have a toy fight, pillow fight, wrestle, and do the silly things that kids do.

 25.找个日子重新回到儿童时代,玩具大战、枕头大战,与孩子们扭打在一起,做一些孩子们会做的傻事

26. Respect their privacy, always knock.

 26.尊重孩子的隐私,总是敲门

27. Give them unexpected presents.

 27.给他们惊喜的礼物

28. Let let go up the down escalator

 28.去座滑梯

29. Let them have their own style and find it themselves.

 29.培养他们的个性,帮助他们认识自我

30. be proud of them,even when they didn't quite make but tried their best.

 30.以他们为骄傲,尽管当他们努力之后还是失败了仍然如此

31. Just hold them, that little bit longer than you normally would.

 31.紧紧的拥抱他们,要比通常的拥抱时间要长一点

32. Let them find their own hobbies and encourage them in finding them.

 32.帮助他们发现自己的爱好,鼓励他们发现自己

33. Stand back to let them them make their own mistakes, they'll grow a lot quicker.

 33.原谅他们已经认识到的错误,他们会成长的很快

34.Take them to where you grew up and tell them about it.

 34.带他们到你成长的地方,告诉他们你成长的故事

35. Forgive them as they forgive you.

 35.原谅他们就像他们原谅你那样

36. Don't make them wear a jacket if they don't want to even when it's raining.

 36.哪怕是下雨,如果他们不想穿雨衣,也不要给他们穿上难看的夹克

37. Just love them for the little individuals they are, just love them!

 37.深沉地爱他们,就是爱他们

Is there anything else you would add to this list, why not leave a comment below.

 如果你还有什么其他的好的与孩子沟通的技巧,那么为什么不分享在下面的评论当中呢?

Steven Aitchison is the author of 4 books, and also authors the UKs no1 Personal Development blog Change Your Thoughts. You can sign up to to his blog and receive 3 free ebooks. Sign up now at Change Your Thoughts.

 

相关 [孩子 有效 交流] 推荐:

37种与孩子有效交流的方法

- - 译言-生活点滴
 作者:Steven Aitchison. How often have you asked your kids 'How was school today?' and the reply was 'it was okay!' and that's it. My youngest son just started high school today and my wife and I have been nervous and anxious for him, although we've been careful not to show him this.

如何有效地培养女孩子在穿着打扮方面的「审美品味」?成年以后应如何继续提升?

- - 知乎每日精选
庸人浅见,方法可能有片面性,若有不足,多多包涵,请指教. 要改变一个人穿着打扮的审美观是一个巨大工程,就好比一个原来陶醉于jazz/bossa nova的人,现在要他爱上听张曼玉唱重金属并跟着摇头一样. 你需要改变一个人对事物美感的看法甚至是颠覆,想想都可怕. 假若要彻底改变一个人的穿着审美,让她变得从骨子里有审美感、fashion(原谅我用这个词,虽然我觉得fashion这个词很不fashion)起来,她的衣柜饰物柜鞋柜可能要更新好几轮.

男孩子哄女孩子上床

- Alfred.zhang - 河蟹娱乐
当男性希望和女性发生关系时哄对方的一段对话:. 我每天也在想没有你的日子我该怎么过. 女:要是你的心里没有我,我马上便会离开你. 男:不可能,我的心中一直也是这样期盼着. 女:若有其它少女勾引你,你能保持清醒. 女:我家里的家务都要由我一个人做吗. 男:不用怕,我会在外头找其它人来帮你干好这差事. 女:将来我要是不能成为你的完美情人怎么办.

“放养”孩子还是“圈养”孩子?

- - Rolling Age 流金岁月
前段时间中国虎妈写了本书推行她的教育方法,引起了很大的轰动和喧嚣. 她的女儿进了哈佛后,她又撰文写道,对孩子进行严格的纪律管理只是在5岁到12岁期间的策略,现在她根本不管她的女儿,让她自由发展. 不过,这篇后续文章已经不再被媒体关注了(关注的也只是中文媒体而已),新焦点又有啦. 今天加拿大电视台在全国新闻联播的时段,推出了“slow parenting”的节目.

别把你的孩子当“孩子”

- - 改变从这里开始 - 壹心理
家长们都很爱自己的孩子,而且常常将对孩子满腔的爱,化作了热切的希望——孩子能够比自己幸福,能够拥有一个无比顺利、无比灿烂的未来. 他们不愿意自己曾经吃过的苦,孩子重吃一遍;自己所经历的人生曲折,孩子再经历一次;自己失落的梦想,孩子又一次失落. 可是,他们如此深厚、如此强烈的爱,却未必能够得到孩子的回应,有时甚至还成了家庭悲剧的根源.

LevelDB学习交流

- gnawux - NoSQLFan
下面PPT作者是@淘宝解伦,PPT中对LevelDB的特点、设计思想及实现原理都有所涵盖,是一篇不错的LevelDB入门教材. 对LevelDB感兴趣的同学可以看看. LevelDB中的Skip List(跳跃表). 一个NoSQL与MongoDB的介绍PPT. RethinkDB 与 TokuDB 调研测试报告.

适合孩子的猫眼

- Sky - 玩意儿
记得我们小时候用硬纸板和镜子自制潜望镜吧,通常我们家用的门的猫眼都如此之高,在这里设计师 Hyun-june Yang 将潜望镜的原理利用到猫眼上,让孩子也可以通到猫眼看到门外的人,看是否可以放心开门. 本文原始链接:http://www.cngadget.cn/answer-that-knock.html.

关于教育孩子

- - 膘叔
这是一张来自微博的图片,我用微软的OCR解析了一下,可能不太正确,我也不深究了,想仔细看就点击小图看大图吧. 美国人带孩子的17个绝招  . 我在美国生了两个孩子,生育前后都有培训班,家庭医生每次洗  . 脑让我受益匪浅,我的两个宝宝在婴儿时期乖巧得好像家里没有  . 小婴儿,我甚至疑心她们会不会哭.

转贴:如何夸孩子?

- - 在路上
夸孩子少用“你真棒”,如何夸孩子. “称赞,就像青霉素一样,绝不能随意用. 使用强效药有一定的标准,需要谨慎小心,标准包 括时间和剂量,因为可能会引起过敏反应. “宝宝真棒”,这样的表扬对家长来说真是轻车熟路. 在家长眼里,孩子的每一个成长细节都 是值得惊叹和赞美的——宝宝会笑了,宝宝会翻身了,宝宝会蹦了,宝宝说话了……就是在这种 不断的惊喜中,家长已经习惯于对着孩子说出“真棒!”、“真好!”这样的评价,甚至一句轻轻 的“啊”都充满着赞赏的语气.

会买菜的孩子,才是好孩子

- lzhi - Lzhi's Views
没有破皮的,尽量选圆的,越圆的越好削. 皮一定要干的,不要有水泡的,不然保存时间短,口感也不好. 不要有芽的和绿色的,这样就差不多了. 凡长出嫩芽的土豆已含毒素,不宜食用. 如果发现土豆外皮变绿,哪怕是很浅的绿色都不要食用. 因为土豆变绿是有毒生物碱存在的标志,如果食用会中毒. 劣质薯块小而不均匀;有损伤或虫蛀孔洞;薯块萎蔫变软,薯块发芽或变绿;混有较多的虫害、伤残薯块;有腐烂气味.