心理博客——《生命不再等待》节选

译者 草白

此地与他处：所有的旅行都通往内心

No matter where you go, there you are.

Confucius

既来之，则安之。

—孔子

In 1989 at a recovery meeting, I was stunned when I heard the term “geographical cure,” as it summed up so much of my life. It refers to the illusion that life will be better when we get somewhere else. So we expectantly wait until we get there and “there” is somewhere, anywhere other than where we are right now. We think, “I’ll be happy when I climb that hill. When I go on vacation. When I am at the beach. When I live in that kind of house. When I finally visit that country or state.” We wait to be in the “right” place. We wait for that place magically to change what’s wrong in our lives. What we forget is that we take ourselves and all of our baggage with us wherever we go.

1989年，我在一次康复会议（recovery meeting）中耳闻了“地理疗法”这个术语，当时的我如遭震雷，因为这正是我过往许多岁月的浓缩。地理疗法指的是一种错觉，即他方的生活更美好。所以我们在期望中等待，等待终有一天可以到达那个地方，到达那个非当下所处的任何一地。我们这样认为，“当我登上那座山峰，当我外出度假，当我在海滩享受悠闲的时光，当我住在心仪的房子里，当我终于能够去游览那个国家，那么我就会感到快乐。”我们等待自己身处于“正确的”地方，等待那个地方可以神奇地改变我们生活的不如意，但我们却忘记了，无论走到天涯海角，我们的自我与心灵的包袱都会如影随形。

Certain places are magical, wondrous, and desirable. Who doesn’t think about their own insignificance when viewing the magnificent expansiveness of the Grand Canyon? Religious sages went to majestic mountaintops to commune with God. Throughout history, pioneers explored uncharted territories such as the western United States with hopes, visions, and dreams of creating something better.

有的地方神奇、壮观、令人神往。目睹大峡谷（the Grand Canyon）的雄伟与广阔，谁能不联想到自我的渺小与微不足道？宗教圣人去往巍峨的山巅，感受与上帝之间灵的沟通，而纵观历史，无数的拓荒者谁又不是心怀希望、理想与对美好生活的梦想，去探索诸如美国西部这样的未知领域呢？

Places help us see our place in the world, if we let them. Places can help us grow, and learn. However (as was my tendency), we can look at them as one more thing outside ourselves where the answer lies.

游历帮助我们看清自己在这个世界上的位置，帮助我们成长并学得更多的东西。然而——正如我自己的倾向——我们将它们视为自我之外答案的另一所在。

A geographical cure “fixes” problems by changing where we are, moving our location, or shifting things around. This way we can avoid looking inside to the source of our problems and their cause. Sometimes our problems go away temporarily, but inevitably they return.

地理疗法通过我们地点位置或所处环境的改变来“解决”问题。通过这种方式，我们可以避免向内寻找困扰的来源与起因。有时，这些困扰会暂时离我们而去，但照例它们还会回来。

You can’t put a jackass on a plane and expect it to get off as a racehorse.But try we will. This is the false hope of the geographical cure.

你不能把一头驴放在飞机上，然后指望它们下飞机之后就能像赛马一般健步如飞，但我们还是在尝试着这么做。这是地理疗法给人的一种错误希望。

ON THE GO

在路上

Mark, a salesman, tells the following story: “My father was in the army, so when I was growing up, we moved constantly. Just as I was about to settle in, we would move, and I would once again say goodbye to my friends, teachers, and home. But I didn’t even know what home was. I vowed when I was able to decide for myself, I would put down roots and never move again.

马克，一名推销员，这样描述自己过去的人生经历：“我的父亲是一名军人，所以在我成长的过程中我们需要不断搬家。我刚适应了新的环境，接着就要搬走，而我就要向自己的朋友、老师和家再次告别。尽管当时我甚至连家的概念都不清楚，但我还是发誓，当我哪一天可以自己作决定的时候，就一定会在一个地方扎下根来再也不走了。

“When I got my first job after college, I picked a town and set my sights there. For the first year, it was great. I knew everyone in town. I spent weekends doing yard work or hanging out with the neighborhood guys.Then I started to get uneasy. I found myself being short-tempered and annoyed with my friends. I started reading travel magazines and hung pictures of different places throughout my home. Soon, I put my house on the market and moved across the country. Shortly after moving into my new house and town, I dreamt I was packing to move again.

“大学毕业之后，我找到自己第一份工作，然后挑了个小镇便决定在此安心住下去。第一年生活顺心顺意，我认识小镇上的每一个人，周末就在家整理院子或者是跟邻居那帮哥们一起出去厮混。然而不久，我便不安分起来，发现自己脾气暴躁，经常生朋友的气。我开始阅读旅游杂志，在家里的各个角落都挂上不同地方的图片。不久，我卖掉了房子，然后游历穿越整个国家。我到达一个新的小镇，搬进一个新家，而不久我又梦到自己正在打包准备奔赴下一个地方。

“The next morning, I had an epiphany: I couldn’t be with myself! I wasthe problem. Not where I lived. I had never gotten used to the quiet of my own company.”

“次日一早，我醍醐灌顶，心有顿悟：‘我不能自处。我自己才是问题的所在，而不是生活所处的环境。一直以来，我都不能适应自我独处时的静默。’”

Mark, like many of us, tried to escape from his unhappiness by moving. But until he unpacked his own baggage, he couldn’t be happy anywhere he went. Until he sat still with himself, he was doomed to keep waiting for his happiness and his life to begin.

马克——像我们当中很多人一样——设法以迁移来逃避自我的不快乐。然而，无论去到天涯海角，心中的包袱放不下，他便不得快乐，而注定只能不断地等待，等待快乐，等待生活的起航，直到有一天他可以静静地安坐在自我身边。

ROCKY MOUNTAIN HIGH

高高的落基山

I attempted to escape by leaving the East Coast and heading to the foothills of the Colorado Rockies for college. The allure of the meditative sage on the mountaintop always appealed to me. I fantasized about finding peace and freedom from myself in the mountains. I hoped that by living “up high” I would have the perspective I needed to straighten out my life. Colorado seemed like the right combination of “far enough away” and “different enough from home.”

我企图逃避自我，于是逃离了东海岸，跑到科罗拉多州落基山脉的一个山麓小丘上大学。山巅之上冥想中的圣人总是吸引着我前往，幻想着自己在群山之间寻得自我的平和与自由，希望自己生活在“高处”，如此能够识得慧见，从而让生活走上正轨。似乎，科罗拉多就是我心中想要到达的地方，它极好地融合了“足够遥远”与“足够新奇”这两个特点。

My love affair with climbing hills began in 1982 when my father introduced me to the West. We took a trip to a small guest ranch in Wyoming. Something inside of me expanded as I stood in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by towering peaks and vast acres of national forest.

1982年，在父亲的引导下我开始了解西部，自此便与登山结下了不解之缘。我们一起旅行，目的地是怀俄明州的一个小型观光牧场。抛身于这茫茫荒野之央，身边环绕的山峰高耸入云，国家森林广阔无边，那一刻，内在的某种东西开始向外延展开来。

At the ranch, it was easy to forget there was another world out there. As we exited the pavement, I left many of my concerns behind and began the bumpy ride on the rutted dirt road to paradise. Days were filled with swimming in frigidly cold high mountain lakes and streams and lazy rides on the horses. Of course, my favorite experiences were the long hikes to the tops of various peaks where I could view the world from a different perspective. I found quiet and serenity for a brief moment, and I craved more of that.

在牧场，不觉间我们就已忘却外面还有另外一个世界。离开硬路面，我们接着拐进一条岔道，心中的很多忧虑这时已被抛之脑后，于是开始了一段颠簸的骑行，道路泥泞不堪，凹凸不平，却是通往心中的乐土。在那些日子里，我要么整日在刺骨般寒冷的高山湖与溪流中游泳，要么就懒懒地骑马四处游荡。当然，最令人快乐的莫过于攀登各种各样的山峰时所进行的长距离的徒步旅行，以及登顶后以不同的视角观察这个世界时所带来的美好体验。在那短暂的瞬间，我寻得了宁静与祥和，心中这样渴求也愈发强烈。

For many years, our Wyoming vacations provided a constant for me amid a life of much change—back and forth between households, off to college, my many ups and downs. The ranch served as my anchor, holding passing memories of magical times. No matter how sick I felt, I always found a sense of tranquility during my Wyoming visits.

之后的很多年里，这次怀俄明州的旅行在我多变无常的生活中——父母之间的往来奔波，离家上大学以及生活中许多的起起伏伏——赋予我一种恒久的持续感。牧场是我心灵的港湾，停泊着我那逝去时光的美好记忆，不迁不移。不管我多么消沉沮丧，只要来到怀俄明州，我总能找到内心的宁静。

When it was time to choose a college, I headed west. Although Colorado itself didn’t fix me as I had hoped, I still fell in love with it. When I left for treatment, I was heartbroken. I would hear John Denver singingand cry—it reminded me of all I had missed.

选择大学的时候，我毅然去往西部。非人所愿的是，科罗拉多本身并没能修补我心灵的缺失，但我还是爱上了这个地方。因而，当我为了治疗需要离开这片土地时，心中甚是悲痛欲绝。我会一边听着约翰·丹佛的吟唱，一边失声痛哭—这歌声勾起的回忆是我已然失去的一切。

And the Colorado Rocky Mountain high

科罗拉多，高高落基山。

I’ve seen it rainin’ fire in the sky

看见它向天空倾斜火焰的光芒。

You can talk to God and listen to the casual reply …

你能向上帝倾诉，并聆听他偶然的回答。

In recovery, I realized that although I had looked to Colorado as an escape, it also provided me with an experience of life that I loved. It allowed me to connect with myself in profound ways.

在康复过程当中，我认识到尽管科罗拉多对我来说是一种逃避，但它也提供了我所挚爱的生活体验。这样的生活体验，使得我可以在内心深处与自我建立联系。

THE BENEFITS OF PLACE

行万里路

As Cindy describes it, “I never understood the appeal of the mountains until I moved to Colorado. During the summer, many of my friends climbed the famous Fourteeners throughout the state (Colorado has fifty-four 14,000-foot peaks). Although I loved the mountains, I always said no to their requests to join them. After a particularly persuasive friend asked for the tenth time, I finally said yes. It was only then that I realized how afraid I was. The group was kind and patient with me, knowing it was my first ascent. We started in the misty early morning, dressed in layers, carrying light packs and plenty of water. As we climbed, the clouds parted, the expansive view opened up, and I was moved beyond belief. In the silence of the morning, I realized why my friends were so eager to take this trek. In the vastness of it all, I saw the insignificance of my fears and concerns. Had I listened to my fears, I never would have had this moment. I then saw my thoughts were what kept me trapped in life—really they were my only limitations. I felt connected to this group of travelers, to nature, and to something bigger than all of us. I experienced the glory and power of it all, and at the same time I realized I could carry this knowledge with me wherever I went.”

正如辛迪所描述的那样：“我从来不懂得大山的魅力，直到来到科罗拉多的那一天。那年夏天，我的很多朋友攀登了绵延全州的著名的十四高峰（科罗拉多拥有54座14万英尺高的山峰）。尽管我爱高山，但他们邀请我加入时我却总是拒绝，直到有一个特别能说的朋友第十次邀请我时，我终于答应了，而直到那时，我才意识到自己是多么害怕。不过大家都很友好，也很有耐心，知道这是我第一次爬山。在清晨的雾霭中，我们里三层外三层，携带上轻巧的行李以及大量的水便动身出发了。在我们攀登过程中，云破雾消，霎时间辽阔的视野在我们眼前徐徐展开，那一刻心中的感动简直难以言表。那天早晨，浸身于那无声的寂静之中，我终于明白他们为何如此渴望踏上这艰苦的旅途。面对着浩瀚无垠的空间，我看到个人的恐惧与担忧是如此地微不足道。如果当初我屈服于内心的恐惧，恐怕就永远也体会不到这样的时刻了。于是我看到，陷我于困境中的正是自己思想的牢笼，实际上这才是唯一限制我的因素。我感受到自己与这些旅行者、与自然、与某种比我们所有人都更为伟大的东西建立起了心灵的联系。我体会着所有这壮丽与雄伟，同时意识到无论到哪，我都可以在心中怀抱这样的人生感悟。”

When we stop and smell the roses, many of us can attest that being in nature gives us definite psychological benefits. It restores our mental clarity, provides us with an increased sense of well-being, and can reduce our stress levels. For others, immersion into the bustle of city life is just the ticket.

停下脚步，享受这曾经被我忽略的美妙事物时，我们见证了身处大自然所给予我们无可怀疑的精神益处。亲近自然，我们重拾了思想的澄净，体验到越发浓烈的幸福感，焦虑水平也随之下降。而对于其他人来说，浸渍于城市生活的喧嚣或许正好合适。

In a new place, we often gain perspective on our lives. Places assist us in finding ourselves in the microcosm of the macrocosm. They allow us to hear our inner voice amidst all the clamor and noise. Places can teach us to look inside in a new way, to find a sense of connection—not only to the place, but more importantly to ourselves.

生活在别处，我们通常会获得有关自己生活的新的慧见。游历帮助我们在茫茫宇宙中找到自我这个小宇宙，让我们在喧嚣与嘈杂中听见自己内心的声音，教授我们以一种新的方式省视内心，找到与不仅是游历的所在，而更重要的是与我们自我之间的联系感。

CONSCIOUS DISCOVERY

所有的旅行都通往内心

No house or hill will save us from our own mind. At some point we have to stop running away and learn to enjoy our own company. Some people will spend eternity moving around to avoid being with themselves. Once again, we have an opportunity to find a balance. We may desire a place where we can put down roots, but we may also wish to seek, visit, and explore.

没有一所房子、一座山丘能够解救我们于思想的牢笼。有时候我们必须停止逃奔，学着享受一个人的独处。有的人毕其一生四处流浪，放浪形骸，以此来逃避与自我的相遇。我要再说一次，这之间可以找到一种平衡：我们渴望有个地方可以让我们扎下根来，但同时又愿意去寻觅、游览与探索。

Often when I travel, I try places on. Sometimes the line between old behavior (the seeking of the geographical cure) and my inquisitiveness is faint. I wonder, “Would I like it better here? What would my life be like? Would I be happier?” I have even gone as far as spending the day with a realtor. Each time I go through this, I see hidden aspects of myself. Sometimes I discover that I am craving change. Sometimes I just don’t want to go back to work on Monday. Sometimes I think a different set of hills will do the trick. And most importantly, I discover that I don’t have to judge my process.

通常当我旅行至一处，我总是会细细体会这个地方。有时候，旧有的行为模式（寻求地理治疗）与好奇心之间的界限是模糊的。我问自己：“我更喜欢留在这里吗？如果留下来的话生活会是什么样子呢？我会更快乐吗？”甚至有时候我留下来的心意是如此之强烈，以至于会跟房地产经纪人待上一整天的时间。每当经历这样的心理踌躇，我都可以窥见自我当中被隐藏的一面：有时候是我发现自己对改变的渴望；有时候只是不想星期一就去上班而已；有时候是我觉得其他山丘可能可以解答我的疑惑；而最重要的是，我发现自己不必对生活与心理的过程作出评判。

Each of us has the opportunity to examine this for ourselves—are we powerfully choosing, or are we looking for an escape? No matter where we go, we take us along. On the other hand, we can create a sense of home anywhere, and some places will always remain special.

每一个人都可以扪心自省—旅途是我们积极的选择，还是我们所寻求的一种逃避方式。不管走到天涯海角，我们的自我都将如影随形。换个角度来说，我们可以在任何地方创造一种家的感觉，又有些地方将永远保留它特别的意义。

Practice:

实践

Being Aware:

觉知地去旅行：

Stop and consider the places you have been. What have they taught you? Have you learned to be with yourself? Do you use a move or vacation to run from your problems or yourself? Are you waiting to find the right place? To live in (or visit) the right environment—and then you will be happy? Is this a pattern? Or have you achieved balance? What does that balance look like for you?

停下来回头想想自己去过的地方。它们教给你什么？

你学会与自我相处了吗？你曾利用搬家或度假来逃避生活中的问题和自我吗？

你在等待寻得与你相契的所在吗？而在那个与你精神相契的环境中生活或旅游时，你会感到快乐吗？这是你旅行的模式吗？

或者你已经找到了平衡？对你来说，这种平衡是一种怎样的状态？

We shape our dwellings, and afterwards our dwellings shape us.

我们塑造了环境，然后环境又塑造了我们。

Winston Churchill

—温斯顿·丘吉尔

The allure of the hills was what brought me back to Colorado. But by then I believed (even when I forgot) that the key to my happiness lies in the inner landscape, not the outer one.

高山的诱惑引我回到科罗拉多，但那时我已确信（即使在我遗忘的时候）快乐的钥匙已经安卧在我的心中，而不是埋藏在那些外在的山丘之间。

Fortunately, my husband was willing to give up living by the ocean for our shared vision of a little house on the side of a hill. After some years in Colorado, we found our dream home: a magical little house on the side of a mountain at the end of a very long dirt road. The first time we visited the house, we ended up walking the length of the mile-long,Jeep-trail of a road, through a grove of shimmering Aspen, hearing the sound of the leaves rustling in the breeze. It all felt so familiar and powerfully reminded me of the ranch in Wyoming. As we continued to walk closer, a dramatic view mysteriously and magically began to merge. A vast expanse of mountains, layered over other mountains, and cloud striations. The road ended at the sweet profile of a house perched on the side of the hill, looking out over the magnifi cent and awe-inspiring view. It was quiet. Utterly peaceful. We were home.

幸运的是，我的丈夫愿意放弃在海边生活的想法，而准备在山边置一所小房子，这成了我们共同的梦想。来到科罗拉多几年之后，我们终于找到了梦想中的家园：一条长长的土路尽头位于山边的一所迷人的小房子。第一次来看房子，我们走过一条一英里长、满是车辙印的公路，穿过一片闪烁着雪的光芒的小树林，聆听树叶在微风中沙沙作响。这一切都是那么熟悉，猛然让我想起了怀俄明州的牧场。当我们再走近些，那动人心魄的美景呈现在眼前，如此神奇，如此美妙。群山绵延如浩瀚海洋，层峦叠嶂，云雾缠绕其间。走到路的尽头，我们望见坐落于山边一所房子的动人侧影。从屋内向外眺望，那宏伟壮丽、令人惊叹的景色是那样安静，那样平和。我们到家了。

I’ve climbed my hill, settled in, created a home, and allowed my home to shape me. When I travel, I now consciously take all of me, including my restless humanity, on the journey.

我已经登上了我的山峰，扎下根来，创造出自己的家园并让自己的家来塑造我。而当我去旅行，我会有意识地带上整个自我，包括本性中的不安分。

“Coming Home to Me” by Patricia Moeller

我喜欢自己居住的地方，但并非一直如此。对我来说，我生活的山谷是支持与安慰的源泉，在某种程度上我觉得自己属于这儿，而这里所有居民也都有很深的这种情结。每当我度假回家时，心中都会发出这样的感叹：“哇，谢天谢地，我到家了。”这种感激之情并非来自于对另一个地方的厌恶，而是来自于心灵的安适，明白自己可以在任何一个被称为家的地方创造未来。我成长于阿拉斯加，那时候总觉得自己生活的空间限制了自我，离开并终有一日获得自由的欲求超过了其他所有的一切。

At twenty-three, I finally escaped and found myself sailing for a year and a half down the inter-coastal waterway to the Bahamas. Money being the deciding factor, I came ashore in Ft.Lauderdale,Florida, only to fi nd myself, six months later, skiing the slopes of Jackson Hole. I felt grounded in Jackson, at home—a feeling that I had never experienced. The Tetons became my higher power, like a motherly source of inspiration—constantly shifting and changing, although really always the same.

23岁那年，我终于逃跑了，然后沿着两岸间水道航行了一年半，向南去往巴哈马群岛。因为资金的限制，我在佛罗里达劳德代尔堡上了岸，却没想到六个月以后自己会在杰克逊坑的山坡上滑雪。我在杰克逊感到很踏实，那里给我一种家的感觉，而这是我从未有过的体验。提顿山脉成了我的至高权力，如同母亲般是灵感的源泉，亘古不移却又变幻莫测。

In what occurred as a stroke of bad luck, my boyfriend (now husband) needed to go back to Florida to continue his flight training. I reluctantly went with him, even though I desperately wanted to stay in the first place that really seemed like home.

不幸运的是，我的男朋友（现在是我的丈夫）需要返回佛罗里达继续他的飞行训练。我不情愿地跟随他回去了，即使我是多么想留下，留在这个我人生中第一次体验到家的感觉的地方。

After two years in Florida, two years in Maine, two years in Rhode Island, and two years in Colorado, I returned home to Wyoming. Strangely, my friends were all eight years older! Without the geographical changes and experiences, I would not be the person I am today. I have a master’s degree, two amazing children (born in different states), sobriety, and a spiritual completeness that comes from finding oneself and coming full circle. It is strange that I had to leave a place to be able to come back.

两年在佛罗里达，两年在缅因州，两年在罗得岛，两年在科罗拉多，最后我回到了怀俄明州的老家。奇妙的是，我的朋友们都已经长了八年的春秋岁月！没有这样的地理变换与体验，我就不会是今天的我。随同自我的发现以及整个游历而来的，是硕士学位，是两个出生在不同州的了不起的孩子，以及清醒节制的生活和精神的完满。我不得不离开某地远走他方之后才能“回到家”，这真的很奇怪。

In the coming back, however, I found who I am.

然而，在回归的途中，我发现了我是谁。