【Hacker News】不,我才不会去下载你的狗屁软件
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Hacker News上收集了很多IT界牛人的博客,有的文章读后感觉醍醐灌顶,有的文章幽默诙谐,有的文章完全颠覆你的价值观。
IT界也有感性的文化,也有惊艳的艺术。
为了解到最新的IT资讯,同时提升自己的英文水平,我将打造一个翻译Hacker News的专题。
如果你也有兴趣一起发布、分享、翻译最新的Hacker News...
请转往以下站点:
1、译言网的 Hacker News小组
2、豆瓣的 Hacker News小站
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No, I'm not going to download your bullshit app
How we used to read the news, back in the era of the Web:
- Go to newspaper website.
- Click on story.
- Read.
How we read news in the era of fucking stupid pointless iPhone apps.
- Go to website.
- Be told you aren’t allowed to read the website.
- Be redirected to an App Store.
- Download the app.
- Wait while a multi-megabyte file downloads over your temperamental, expensive 3G connection.
- Open the app up.
- Familiarise yourself with an interface that has cryptic, weird touch affordances that aren’t actually revealed to the user and behave ever so slightly differently from every other similar app.
- Struggle as the badly-implemented statefulness gives you a spinning loading wheel (on iOS) or flashing progress bar (on Android) because you had the audacity to use your mobile device on a slow or unreliable connection.
- Attempt to find the story you wanted to read using a layout and information architecture that’s completely different from the layout and information architecture of the website that you’ve grown familiar with, because some arsehole decided that the process of reading the electronic equivalent of a newspaper needs to be “disrupted” because he’s been reading far too much Seth Godin or some other bullshit.
- Realise that the app shows you different things depending on whether it’s in landscape or portrait mode. Now you can look like an utter nob on the Tube rotating your iPad around so that you can zoom further into the Page 3 stunna’s tits.
- Not be able to share the story with your friends because it’s not a page on the web with a Uniform Resource Indicator. Because why do you need Uniform Resource Indicators when you’ve got shiny smooth buttons on a phone?
- Take time to download updated binary files the next time the application is updated in the App Store, that’ll provide you “new functionality”, even though there is no fucking functionality you actually want other than reading the fucking news.
- If you are on Android, be sure to install some anti-adware software in case the app comes with some delightful bit of creepy privacy-intruding out-of-app advertising.
- Give up, go to newsagent, buy paper edition, throw smartphone off a fucking cliff and start a letterbomb campaign against all the idiots who thought that turning newspapers into “apps” was a good idea.
In the “web vs. apps” war, I think you can infer which side I’m on. I wouldn’t download a BBC app or an NPR app for my computer. Why would I want one on my phone? Do I buy a separate radio to listen to different stations? No. The functionality is the same, the only thing that differs is the content. Apps ought to provide some actual functionality, not just blobs of content wrapped up in binary files.
不,我才不会去下载你的狗屁软件
互联网的时代,我们习惯于按以下步骤来浏览新闻:
1、登陆一个新闻网站。
2、点击你感兴趣的文章。
3、开始阅读。
但是,如果我们想在iPhone的软件来浏览新闻,那么,你需要完成如下步骤:
1、登陆一个网站。
2、被告知你没有权利在此网站上浏览新闻。
3、被重定向到一个应用程序商店。
4、下载应用程序。
5、在你的既不稳定又昂贵的3G网络下载一个几兆的安装文件。
6、开启应用程序。
7、你需要尽快熟悉那些含义模糊、奇怪的触摸功能,虽然他们与其他类似软件只有细微差别。
8、你会挣扎的等待旋转加载轮(IOS上)或者是等待闪光进度条(Android上),因为你的移动设备连接在一个又慢又不稳定的网络上。
9、你需要在这个布局完全不同于之前那个你所熟悉的界面上找到你所感兴趣的新闻,只是因为那些看过Seth Godin或者其他人的文章的人得出的一个狗屁结论——“电子设备的阅读体验应该与报纸完全不同”。
10、你会意识到应用程序展示给你的不同东西取决于它们的图像显示模式。现在,你可以像那些电视里的大人物一样,通过旋转你的iPad将文章翻到第三页。
11、你将不能把这些好新闻分享给你的好朋友,因为它们不是一个拥有统一资源指标的网页。
12、每当这款应用在App Store里又推出新版本的时候,你有需要花时间去下载更新。虽然这些新版本会更新出一些新的功能,但是,其实你TMD根本就不在乎这些所谓的狗屁新功能,你只是想单纯的看看新闻。
13、如果你的设备是Android的, 那么你还需要安装一些反广告的软件,因为,这些应用可能会有一些能够入侵你隐私的广告。
14、你将会崩溃,然后放弃电子新闻,而是去报刊亭买纸质报纸,你会将你的手机扔下悬崖,然后开展一个运动来反对那些认为在应用程序中阅读新闻是个好主意的人。
在这场web与apps 的战争中,你想你应该很容易就能推断出我的立场。我不会在我的电脑上下载BBC或者NPR这样的应用程序。那么,为什么我需要在我的手机里安装这些呢?我会买一个单独的收音机来收听不同的电台吗?不。这些东西的功能都是一样的,唯一不同的是他们的内容。应用程序应该提供一些切实有用的功能,而不是在他们的安装文件中放入一些根本用不到的东西。
---------------by-------zerocool---------2013年2月6日22:57:04