美国留学生的家书

译者 w.w.d.

Dear Mom and Dad,

亲爱的爸爸妈妈，

Things are going well here in China.  The food here is especially wonderful and I’ve lost a good deal of weight because it doesn’t tend to stay down for very long.  I’ve been buying my meat from a street vendor down the road, who I think might be a little crazy.  Every time I try to ask him what part of the cow the meat comes from he just smiles and barks like a dog.  Maybe Chinese people just have a weird sense of humor!

    我在中国生活得很好。这里的食物尤其好，而我的体重也减了很多，因为体重很长时间都没减下来了。我一直在街头小贩那里买肉，那小贩好像有点神经质。每次我问他肉是牛的哪个部位的，他总是笑着然后像狗一样叫。也许中国人有着很奇怪的幽默感。

I’ve been seeing a girl named Candy that I met at massage parlor in Beijing, and she’s very nice.  She doesn’t speak much English but in the little bit that I do understand she says she’s very excited about going to America, although I don’t know when she plans to visit.  She’s been very tired lately, and sometimes she gets sick in the morning.  I tell her that it might be because of all the strange food she likes to eat at odd times of the night, but I’m not sure she understands because she usually just responds by rubbing her tummy and smiling.  In any case, I hope she feels better before she goes to the States.

    我交了个女朋友，她叫坎迪（Candy），是我在按摩院碰到的，她人很好。她英文不好，不过从她仅说的那几个单词里我得知她很期待来美国，尽管我不清楚她计划什么时候来。她最近总是很疲倦的样子，而且有时在早晨她会感到恶心。我告诉她这可能是她在晚上吃的那些奇怪的食物所致，不过我不肯定她是否理解了我的话因为她对我的回应只是笑着摸着自己的肚子。无论如何，我希望她在去美国之前身体可以变好。

China has many inexpensive things to buy, like shoes, jackets, and even passports!  I traded in my boring old passport and bought one that’s much more pleasing to the eye.  It’s orange and blue and has lots of funny little stickers in it instead of the plain ink stamps that they gave me at the airport, and it only cost me 50 dollars!

    中国有很多便宜货，像是鞋子、夹克甚至是护照！我把自己那本老土的护照卖了，然后买了一本更好看的。是一本橘黄色和蓝色的护照，里面有很多搞笑的贴纸，不像他们在机场给我的那本那样盖着印章，而且只花了50美元！

I don’t know if you know this but opium is actually legal here, and a very nice guy from Australia offered me as much as I wanted if I let him grow his marijuana plants (Which I guess is legal as well) on my balcony.  I often have visits from the local police, who say that there is a tax for living in my neighborhood.  They are very nice but most of the money that you gave me has run out, and they say that if I can’t pay them I will have to move to a neighborhood called Jay La.  I’ve asked some of the locals about this place and they say that it’s very dangerous, but my Australian friend said that he could help me find work carrying backpacks into Laos.  Apparently Laos has a severe shortage of backpacks!

    你们知道吗，鸦片在这里的合法的。而且一个很友好的澳大利亚人给我鸦片，想要多少就要多少，只要我让他在我的阳台上种他的大麻（我估计这也是合法的吧）。当地的警察经常找上门来，他们说住在这里是要交税的。他们很友好，不过你们给我的钱差不多都用完了，而他们说如果我不交税的话就只能搬到一个叫Jay La的街区去。我问了一些本地人，他们说那是个危险的地方。不过我的澳大利亚朋友说他可以帮我找到一个背着背包去老挝的工作（泽注：“金三角”的一部分就在老挝）。很明显老挝背包严重短缺！

I’m going to a party at Tiananmen Square today for the Dali Lama’s birthday (or maybe it’s something else, but I know it has something to do with the Dali Lama) and they’re going to be giving out lots of free Tibet!  I’m not sure what that is, but all the foreigners here are very excited about it so it must be very nice.  Apparently the Chinese people don’t like it very much-or at least whenever I bring it up they change the subject- so I guess that’s why they’re giving it out for free.

I met an American guy that works for Google yesterday, and he was bent out of shape about something or another.  Apparently he had fallen down a set of stairs and was covered in scrapes and bruises, so I took him back to my apartment to clean him up.  The police came by to collect the neighborhood tax when he was there and were seemed very happy to see him there.  I left him in my apartment this morning but he wasn’t there when I got back.  Maybe the police helped him with whatever he was having trouble with.

    昨天我遇到了一个在谷歌工作的美国人，他不知道为什么大发雷霆。很明显他从楼梯上滚下来了，鼻青脸肿的。于是我把带回了我的公寓帮他清理干净。当时遇到警察来收税了，警察见到他似乎很高兴。今天早上我把他留在公寓里，不过我回来的时候他就不在了。也许他得到了警察的帮助吧。（译注：谷歌在2010年退出了中国）

Well I have to go now, Candy’s old boss is here and they seem to be having some sort of argument so I better attend to that.  Can’t wait to see you when I get back!  Hope all is well!

    我得离开了，坎迪（Candy）的前老板在这里，他们看起来在争吵什么，所以我最好去看看。非常期待回家的时刻！祝一切安好！

Sincerely,

真诚地，

Christopher

克里斯托弗（Christopher）

P.S. I got a refund on my return ticket and bought a much cheaper one that connects       through Somalia, but I’ve been told it might take a bit longer so I might be arriving a few days late.

又及：我把回程票退了，然后买了一张更便宜的途径索马里的票，不过旅程可能会更长一点，所以我可能会在几天后到家。

Disclaimer:  Don’t worry Mom and Dad, I’ve never met anyone who calls herself Candy, I still have my passport, and I’ve never smoked opium.