人的5种有害思想及克服方法

译者 飘荡的秋千

5 Destructive Beliefs Almost Everyone Has (And How to Overcome Them)

人的五种有害思想及克服方法

Have you ever seen a friend or a loved one completely sabotage their success? Of course, we all have. As a friend, we're there on the sidelines trying to help them but they are so blind to their surroundings and so set in their ways that they are like a run away train that nothing can slow down.

你有没有眼看着你的朋友或者爱人走向失败深渊过？当然，我们都有过这样的经历。作为朋友，我们以旁观者的身份去帮助他们，但他们已经对自己周围的环境视而不见并限定在自己的方式中，就像一个失控的火车无法停下来一样。

That’s often a negative belief at work. If you don’t believe you deserve to earn over $50,000 a year, you probably won’t. You will turn down opportunities because they seem too good to be true, and you will miss lucky breaks because you aren’t expecting them. Heck, you aren't even looking for them.

这其实是负面的思想在作祟。如果你不相信自己一年赚的钱能超过50,000美元，那你很可能实际也做不到。即便有机会，你也会拒绝，因为你觉得机会太好自己都不相信是真的。

This doesn’t mean you are stuck there for the rest of your life. Life is fluid and things change, but that change must begin with you.

这不意味着你的生活就此禁锢住了。生命是流动的事情是变化的，但这样的变化也取决于你自己。

One of the first steps of changing for the better is becoming aware of what is going on, so let’s have a look at some of the common destructive beliefs we all hold to one degree or another, or at least I hold. Hopefully I’m not the only messed up person here.

要想事情有所转机，第一步就要先认识到当前的情势，所以先来看看我们每个人或多或少都会有的一些常见负面想法，起码这些观点我有。希望我不是唯一困惑的人。

Anyway, let’s move forward, shall we?

不管怎么样，我们开始吧。

I Am Not Good Enough

我不够好

I have dreams. You have dreams. We all have dreams, but there’s always something holding us back. If it isn’t money, resources, or skills, then it is a fear of not being good enough.

你，我，我们都拥有梦想，但总有些事情阻碍了我们前进的步伐。如果阻碍你的不是钱、资源、能力，那就是认为自己不够好的担心。

I go through bouts of feeling like I have nothing to contribute to the world, but I keep writing, producing, and improving what I do, because that’s all I can do. It’s all I want to do. Life is not all a dance on roses. You will feel down even when others think you’re a success, and you will feel on top of the world when everybody else thinks you’ve lost your mind.

认为自己一无是处的想法我有过很多次，但我仍坚持写作、出书，并不断的提升自己，因为这是我能做的，同时也是我愿意去做的。生活并非总像在鲜花中舞蹈那样美好。即便他人认为你成功的时候你也可能感觉情绪失落，而他人认为你疯了的时候你却感觉良好。

Funny how life works sometimes, isn’t it?

生活有时是非常滑稽的对吗？

I Am Not Worth It

我不配

A lot of self-sabotage happens because of this belief. Your beliefs can play tricks on you and it can be as simple as procrastinating and missing a deadline if you’re a freelancer, or just missing a few vital goals in your online business.

I wish getting rid of these beliefs were easy, but it isn’t, or at least it hasn’t been for me. It’s probably been 7-8 years since I’ve discovered that I have these beliefs. I’ve gotten a lot better, that’s for sure, but there’s still a lot that can be improved; there always is.

I Can’t Do It

我做不到

How often have you heard this one? For the last seven years, I’ve earned my living primarily through online poker and online business, and throughout these years I’ve had many friends and acquaintances tell me how lucky or how talented I am.

你常听到这样的说法吗？在过去的七年里，我主要依靠在线扑克以及在线交易谋生，这些年许多朋友都说，你真是既幸运又非常有才华啊！

Now, I’m not saying I wasn’t lucky, because there are many things that come into play for me to be where I am today, such as getting access to computers at an early age, learning how to navigate the internet, and even bumping into a friend who made a living playing poker.

我不是想说自己不幸运，因为是许多事情才成就了今天的我，比如很早就开始接触计算机，学着如何应用网络，偶然看到朋友通过网络扑克赚钱等等。

There are various forms of I Can’t Do It-itis, but when you notice where it is controlling your life, you can take corrective action.

类似于“我做不到”这样的想法是多种多样的，但当你注意到这样的想法限制了你生活中的某一点时，你就要采取积极的行动了。

I Am Alone

我总是孤身一人

I used to think everyone was against me and I’d curse people who always seemed to have it easy. Everything fell in place for them and they checked off success after success.

过去我常对身边的人有敌意，也诅咒那些总是轻松取得成功的人。对他们来讲，似乎一切事情都井然有序,经历了一次又一次的成功。

That was almost ten years ago and I’m on the road to getting better. The difference in my mindset has made a big impact in what my life looks like. Instead of looking for negativity, I now look for more positivity. Not all the time, but I do my best.

这样的状态大概是十年前，现在我的状态开始逐渐好转。思想上的转变对于我的生活产生了重要的影响。与以往不同，我不再只看那些消极的东西，而是尽量去关注更积极的一面。尽管不是一直能做到，但我已经尽了自己最大努力去做。

As a side note I have to mention that feeling bad isn’t bad. We live in a culture where we are supposed to be happy and cheerful all the time, but that just isn’t reality. When we try to suppress our negativity, bad things happen. Whenever I’m negative, I sit with it, breathe, and do my best to be present.

我必须提到的一点是，感觉糟糕并不是一件坏事，我们所生活的文化氛围中，更鼓励人们应该一直的保持快乐、开心，但这并不现实。当我们试图去压抑自身的负面情感时，糟糕的事情就发生了。无论何时我不开心了，我会静坐，深呼吸，尽量的让自己着眼当下。

Not always easy, but much more effective than trying to push it away.

虽然这并非总能轻易做到，但这要比逃避更有效。

What If ...

What if the internet goes away and my websites are destroyed? What if this and that happens which completely ruins all of your efforts? You don’t leave yourself a lot of options if you’re constantly fearing the worst. Sure, you could spend your days working at the local diner, but it too can disappear just like anything else.

要是没有网络或者我的网站被人破坏了该怎么办呢？如果某件事让你的努力功亏一篑怎么办呢？如果你一直担心坏的事情，你自然让自己的选择空间变小。当然了，也存在这样的可能，一直潜心于地方速食店的生意，而有一天这种事物却不再流行就像许多被淘汰的事物一样。

We seem to think that being employed provides us with the ultimate security, but as we’ve seen in the last few years, that’s more fiction than reality.

我们总是认为，有人雇佣便有了足够的安全感，但这几年我们也看到了，这样的想法太不现实。

How to Overcome All of the Above

如何去克服这些负面的思想呢？

If there was a simple technique or secret I could give you, I would. However, getting rid of the destructive beliefs above isn’t easy. It’s not impossible, but you have to be determined to change.

如果真有简便易行的技巧或者窍门，我一定会告诉你。然而，想摆脱负面的思维方式不是件容易的事儿。不是不可能，但是你要有想改变的坚定的心。

If this were easy, everyone would be skipping around with a flower in their hand and a smile on their face. The key is baby steps. There’s no rush, and there’s nowhere you need to be. You are who you are.

如果这很容易实现，每个人可能都能战胜自己，手捧鲜花面带微笑的生活。关键在于迈出第一步。不要匆忙，也无需强求自己达到某种特定的状态，就做你自己好了。

It sounds cheesy to say that you have to accept and forgive yourself, but it’s true. Often we resist what and who we are, what we have accomplished, or haven’t accomplished, because society says this or that.

如果说接受并宽恕自己，也许这听起来让人觉得不值一提，但这就是事实。因为世俗的眼光，让我们总是不愿承认真实的自己什么样，也不愿面对我们已经取得了哪些成绩或者哪些还做得不够。

There’s a lot to this and this article has just scratched the surface.

关于这一点，其实我们可以讨论的更多，但这里点到为止了。

Do you have any tips for how you’ve improved your life? I’d love to hear them, and I’m sure everyone else reading this article would, too.

对于如何改善自己的生活你有什么其他建议吗？我很乐于倾听，相信读这篇文章的其他人也愿意。

Written on 3/06/2011 by Henri Junttila. Henri writes at Wake Up Cloud, where he shares his personal tips on how you can live the life you know you deserve. When you feel ready to take action, get his free course: Find Your Passion in 5 Days or Less. And if you liked this article, you will enjoy one of his top articles: 77 Great Quotes That Will Change Your Life.

作者云帝拉.亨利著于2011年3月6日。亨利在他的书中与大家分享了一些建议，指导人们如何过上自己想要的生活。当你感觉自己已经做好准备去采取行动了，就去听听他的免费课吧：不到五天，找回激情。如果你喜欢这篇文章，那他著名的文章之一《改变你生活的77条名言》你也会喜欢。