第四集：滚出我的中国梦

标签： 中国梦 | 发表时间：2011-08-18 22:42 | 作者：w.w.d. leqoqo

出处：http://www.yeeyan.org

原作者：
来源Get Out of My China Fantasy
译者w.w.d.

I was thrown onto the streets of Beijing in 2006 by chance. I knew little of China, and I had never visited such a strange land on my own.

托马斯·托尔赫姆（Thomas Talhelm） 2009.9.21

我在2006年被意外地放逐到北京的街头。我对中国所知甚少，而且我也从未独自一人到这样一个奇怪的地方。

But I knew I’d have support. It took only a short walk on a Beijing street to find other foreigners. As newfound minorities in a strange land, I knew we’d share an instant bond, just like people living in sparse towns on the edge of civilization do in the US, where they say “hello” to anyone walking by on the sidewalk, acquaintance or not.

但是我知道我需要帮助。我在北京街头仅走了一小段路来寻找其他的外国人。做为一个奇怪地方新发现的少数人群，我知道我们会立刻成为各自的知音，就像美国那些住在文明边缘的偏僻小镇的人们那样，在那种地方，在街头擦肩而过的人们，不管是否认识对方，都会互相打招呼。

But during my first venture onto Beijing’s streets, I noticed that my fellow foreigners didn’t simply refrain from camaraderie. They wouldn’t even make eye contact with me.

不过我在北京街头的第一次冒险时，我发现我的外国同仁们根本不会出于友好而和我打个简单的招呼。他们甚至连看都不看我一眼。

It took me weeks to puzzle it all out. These foreigners managed to cross the street without getting hit by cars (not an easy task in China), so blindness wasn’t a good explanation. I eventually decided that they wanted to subscribe to the cushy illusion that China was all theirs, and trying not to recognize my presence could help maintain that comforting illusion. Or perhaps it was just that I hadn’t discovered that Chinese department stores did actually stock deodorant.

我花了好几星期的时间把这个现象给想清楚。这些外国人都能够穿过街道不被车撞（这在中国不是件容易的事），所以他们都瞎了的解释就排除在外了。我最终把这一现象归咎于他们希望把自己置身于“中国全是他们的”这样一个美妙的幻想中，而忽略我的存在可以帮助他们保持这个自我安慰的幻想。或者可能只是我还没有发现中国的百货商店真的有卖除臭剂。（译者：意思是别人不理他是因为他臭）

When I came to have feelings just like those foreigners, I realized that on the inside, it felt more like animosity. Instead of “I don’t want to see you” the feeling is more akin to “Get out of my China fantasy!”

当我也有了其他外国人那样的感受时，我意识到在自己内心，我的感受更像是憎恶。我的感受更类似于“滚出我的中国梦”而不是“我不想看到你”。

Peter Hessler reports feeling the same instant animosity toward foreign visitors to Fuling in River Town. Along with the illusion of being an intrepid explorer in a foreigner-free foreign land, foreigners also come to feel a sense of ownership over China and their China experience. The so-dirty-it-must-be-authentic noodle shop hidden on a back street becomes a badge. The hole-in-the-wall goes from being a restaurant to being my restaurant.

何伟在《消失中的江城》在也有对那些来涪陵的外国人表达过类似的憎恶感。伴随着那种成为一片从没有外国人的土地上的勇敢探索者的幻想，外国人也会对中国以及他们的中国经历产生一种占有欲。那个隐身街巷中的肮脏的面条店就成为了他们在中国的一种标记。那“墙上的窗口”（译者：就是那种在墙上开个洞卖面条的小铺）从“一家餐馆”变成了“我的餐馆”。

Yet the dirty-restaurant badge becomes as worthless as a cereal box detective badge when other foreigners begin eating there. I’m absolutely certain that I’m not the only foreigner to have a twang of disappointment when foreigners waltz into “my” hole-in-the-wall noodle stall. “They found it by accident. They’re not really China adventurers,” I convince myself.

但是当其它的外国人也开始在这“肮脏的小餐馆”里吃饭时，这种标记就变得跟麦片盒上的侦探徽章一样毫无价值了。我很确信我不唯一一个当其他外国人进入“我的墙洞面条店”时感到很失望的外国人。我说服自己相信“他们是偶然发现的，他们不是真正的中国冒险家。”

The result is a foreigner-free hierarchy of China cred. The high-scorers are those living in remote villages where the illusion of being a modern day Marco Polo actually approaches reality.

结果那种“没有外国人的中国”的想法，在事实上却产生了分化。对于那种住在偏远山村的外国人来讲，做现代版马可·波罗的梦想很接近现实。

Those of us living in metropolises like Beijing and Guangzhou can often be found apologizing for the fact that we’ve chosen these well-traveled routes. Even I would brag to my Beijing friends that I hadn’t seen foreigners in Guangzhou in weeks. “They’re really just confined to one downtown area. Not where I live.”

而像我们这些住在北京、广州这样的大都市里的外国人会经常为自己选了一条“繁忙的旅游线路”致歉。甚至我也会向我的北京朋友吹嘘自己在广州好几个星期都没见到外国人。“他们都守在一个市中心地区，和我住的地方不一样。”

Yet, if we can’t claim to be the only foreigner in a remote outpost, we can at least mentally erase the other foreigners from our Chinese city. Darting our eyes away from other foreigners we encounter on the street is simply our eye muscles instantiating this desired illusion.

所以尽管我们不能说自己是边远地区的唯一外国人，我们至少可以在我们脑海里把其他外国人从我们的中国城市里抹去。在街上偶遇其他外国人时眼睛往别的地方看，正是我们眼部的肌肉对“我们渴望的梦想”所做出的反应。

As my days in Beijing turned to weeks and months, I found my desire for camaraderie transforming into the same animosity toward foreigners that I had decried when I first arrived. At that moment, I became just like all the other foreigners that I was claiming weren’t actually there.

当我在北京生活的时间越来越长时，我发现自己对知音的渴望同样变成了对那些在我刚来时曾怪罪过的外国人的憎恶。这一刻，我也成为了那种假装其他外国人不存在的外国人。

评论：

你好！

I came across a similar phenomenon when I was an English teacher in rural Japan in the mid-1990's, and frankly, I think my husband (Japan in the late '90s, rural also) had the same outlook. I actually loved whenever I came across the odd foreigner who wandered into my town. Most of my friends were local Japanese who didn't speak English, and I looked forward to just hanging out with my Western friends, speaking fluent, conversational English without having to worry about unfamiliar phrases or cultural cues, having common cultural references.

90年代中期我在日本乡下做一个英语老师时我也遇到了和你相似的情况，而且坦白的说，我觉得我丈夫（90年代末期，同样是在乡下）也有同样的观点。其实我不管什么时候遇到闯入我镇上的奇怪外国人，我其实都蛮喜欢。我的大部分朋友都是不说英语的本地日本人，而且我也希望可以只和我的西方朋友玩，可以用流行的英语交谈而不用担心那些不熟悉的单词和文化习俗，可以有共同的文化来参考。

Some -- although by no means all -- of the visiting foreigners I met turned out to be soon-to-be-permanent residents, and I really loved taking them around to my favorite places and sharing with them some of the things that had made my life much, much easier. I remembered well how difficult it had been for me, when I first came to town, to do something as simple as pay my electric bill, send money or letters home, or even just buy a countertop stove. I didn't speak or write or read any Japanese when I first arrived, so I had to depend not only on my new co-workers (most of whom didn't have any English skills either) but also on random strangers to do the most innocuous things, like identify milk in the grocery store. I really enjoyed playing "host" with the new arrivals, helping them adjust and avoid some of the mistakes I made.

有一些（虽然并不是所有）我遇到的外国人原来是很快就要成为永久居民的人。我很喜欢带他们去我最喜欢的地方，和他们分享那些让我的生活轻松许多许多的东西。我清楚地记得我刚来这个地方时，即便是简单的付电费账单，寄钱或是信回家，甚至就买一个柜台炉对我来说都很难。我刚来的时候不会说不会写也不会读任何的日文，所以我不得不不仅要依靠我新来的同事（他们大部分也没有任何英语技能），同时还要依靠随机的陌生人来做那些最无危险的事情，像是在杂货店里辨别牛奶。我喜欢为新来的人做“东道主”，帮助他们适应这里的生活同时避免那些我犯过的错误。

I know what you mean about feeling possessive about your town, but perhaps you might see it from the point of view of newcomers who aren't as fortunate as you are to be so intimate with its secrets and charm, and to share some of that with them? You never know -- it might even enhance your own appreciation for your home and make you feel even more connected to it than you already do, since now you're also one of its ambassadors. ;-)

我理解你所说的对自己的城市产生了占有欲，不过或许你可能是从新来者的观点，那些不像你那样幸运，可和自己经历中的秘密和魅力如此亲密，同时和他们分享这些经历的人来看待你的经历？你永远也不会知道——这些经历可能会加强自己对家乡的感情，让你对家乡感受到比你已有的更多的联结，既然你也成为了它的大使。;-)