开始你的奇迹人生!
译者 湛蓝风殇
Last week I asked the Miracle Question from Solution-Focused Therapy. The Miracle Question is simply, “If while you slept a miracle occurred tonight that solved all of your problems, how would you know when you woke up in the morning that a miracle occurred? What would be different?” The first step, of course, is answering the question, but if you just stopped there you might be left feeling a bit frustrated. There are generally two reactions to the Miracle Question. Some people are already living their “miracle life,” and by answering the question, they simply reinforce how happy and content they are. Good for them, but what about everyone else
在上周的聚焦答案的疗法中,我们问了一个惊人的问题。这个问题很简单,“如果今夜睡觉的时候发生了奇迹,你的所有问题都能得到解决。第二天早上醒来你又怎能知道奇迹发生了呢?什么会变得不同呢?”第一步,很简单,当然是回答这个问题。
What if your current reality is completely different from your miracle life? What if by answering the Miracle Question you discover that the life you are living is not at all the life you want? I call this divide between what is and what is wanted the gap. The gap can be painful. It can cause frustration and paralysis . . . or it can spur excitement, fortitude, and action.如果你目前的现状与你理想中的奇迹人生完全不一样,你会怎么样呢? 当你回答完问题后发现你现在的人生一点儿也不是你想要的时,你又会怎么样呢?我把这就叫做理想与现实的差距。这种差距是很令人难过的。它能带来挫折和无力感,又或是兴奋,毅力,和行动力。
So you have a choice to make. Continue living as you have been and hope a miracle occurs that fixes all of your problems and gives you the life you want, or decide that you will be your own miracle? The Miracle Question is just the first step. It’s only designed to get you thinking about what you want to be different. The next step is a crucial one. It’s discovering what you need to do to start living those difference因此你是有选择的权利.继续现在的生活,期待奇迹发生解决掉所有的问题,给你想要的生活。又或是自己决定开始自己的奇迹。这个有关奇迹的问题只是第一步。它故意让你去思考你想要的和目前拥有的区别。下一步才是最重要的,它决定了你怎样渡过这些区别带来的差距感。
Let’s look at an example. Let’s say your current reality is that you live alone, work at a job you don’t like, and feel disconnected from your friends and family. But upon waking after a miracle has occurred, you are lying next to the love of your life, driving into a job that you love, and finishing preparations for a dinner party you are hosting at your house that evening.让我们来看一个例子,假设你现在的现状是独居在家,做着不喜欢的工作,感觉与你的朋友和家人越来越生疏。但是奇迹发生后,你就住在你一生挚爱的人的旁边,干着热爱的工作,刚好做好了准备工作,要招待晚上来家里聚会的客人。
In this example, the gap between what currently is and what is desired is wide, but is it impossible to bridge? I don’t think so. Coert Visser, a psychologist an expert in Solution-Focused Therapy, recommends asking what parts of the miracle you can already start doing. Could you host a dinner party for your friends and family? What about just calling a friend and taking them out to lunch? Could you start night classes in the other 8 hours to move closer to your dream job? Doing any of these things helps you start — even in a small way — living your miracle.
Maybe that example w在这个例子中,理想和现实的差距是很大的,难道在两者之间不能存在一种平衡吗?建议大家先想一下有哪些奇迹是你已经在做着的了你邀请你的家人和朋友来聚餐了吗?或是带着一个朋友外出就餐呢?你有没有用8小时的时间上夜课使自己离理想的工作更近呢?做这些事情让你有个崭新的开始,即使是最微小的方法,开始你的奇迹人生!
。as too simple. Let’s take this to the extreme. In the aftermath of losing a loved one, the survivor’s miracle is usually that they wake up and their loved one is alive again. This would require a miracle indeed, but if you dig deeper, there might be some small way to start living this miracle. What is missing now that the loved one is gone? Maybe companionship, security, someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, a comfortable routine, or a travel partner? What small steps could this person take to start realizing this miracle? How about to spend more time with friends, join a Meetup group, start a book club, participate in a survivor’s group, etc. No change is too small.
One of the founding belie也许这在发生了不幸的事情后,你爱的人去世了,活着的人的奇迹通常就是希望醒来后自己的爱人依然活在这个世界,这个例子太简单了。那让我们看一个极端的例子。这个世界确实需要奇迹,但是如果你想得更深入一些,你会发现也许一些微小的事情就可以引领你走上奇迹人生的道路,既然你爱的人已经离你而去,这是你又想些什么呢?也许是缅怀你们的友谊,考虑灾难后的安全问题,找个人聊聊天,依靠着别人的肩膀哭泣,舒适的放松,又或是需要一个旅行伴侣?怎样的小方式能让一个人开始实现自己的奇迹人生呢?加入读书俱乐部,参加生还者的聚会等等。再小的事情也是一种改变。
fs in Solution-Focused Therapy is that small changes can lead to big results. It’s the butterfly effect for personal development. A small and seemingly insignificant change can create profound consequences that sometimes defy logical explanation. Jeffrey Guterman, Ph.D., and author of Solution-Focused Counseling writes, “A small change can result in a snowball effect that, in turn, leads to bigger changes and the resolution of bigger problems.” No change is too small.
在与建立信仰有关的聚焦问题疗法中发现,即使最微小的改变也能起大作用。一个微小的看起来似乎无关紧要的改变能产生深刻的影响,这有时是有违逻辑的。
一位心理学家,在她的聚焦问题建议中写道,“一个小的改变能带滚雪球式的影响,反过来说,就是大的改变也能解决大的问题。”没有什么改变是微不足道的。
What is the smallest step you can take today to start living your miracle?
那么你要开始自己的奇迹人生,那微小的一步又是什么呢?
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