理解愤怒情绪并消灭它!

标签: 理解 愤怒 情绪 | 发表时间:2011-08-13 05:44 | 作者:滑滑0408 小D
出处:http://www.yeeyan.org

原作者:
来源Understand Anger and Become Free of It!
译者滑滑0408

Understand Anger and Become Free of It!

理解愤怒情绪并消灭它!

Articles about Happiness - Psychology & Health

关于幸福—心理&健康

Anger is a valid and important part of life the human community. It is a living part of the human puzzle. Anger has a message. "I'm listening,” it says. “Tell me what's wrong. It’s important to me; I want to hear about it." An unconscious emotion it may be, an inactive one, it is not!

愤怒是人类生活中重要的一部分。它是人类一大难题。愤怒是有信号的。“我在听”,它说。“告诉我怎么了。这对我很重要;我想听到那个”。它或许是种无意识的情绪,它是会活动的。

If anger is an ally in life, when out of control, it can quickly turn into a nightmare. So instead trying to attack it, learn to pacify this powerful emotion. How? Here a few steps from the book Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg that will help you better understand anger and be free of it.

如果说愤怒是生活的一个伙伴,当失去控制的时候,它将会成为梦魇。所以不要去和它做对,去学习平静这种强大的情绪。如何去做?Marshall Rosenberg的书《非暴力沟通》中有一些步骤会帮助你更好的理解愤怒并且消灭它。

1. First, question yourself. What's wrong here? This helps you clearly identify the vibe within yourself in reaction to what is happening outside. What human need, or which of your values is being violated to make you this angry? Maybe it’s pain left over from an old wound. Anger becomes a beacon to alert you to the pain of that hurt. Notice the extraordinary power of emotion that unfolds within you now. A great strength is available, use it. Verbalized, your feelings could be summed up in this manner: "I am angry because I need to be listened to and you do not have time."

1.首先,对自己提问。怎么了?这会帮助你清楚的认识此刻你所处的环境以及外部所发生的。你需要什么,或者说什么事情让你如此生气?或许是以前所受的创伤让你感到痛苦。愤怒成为体型你伤口疼痛的信号。注意你此刻正表现出特别的力量。很多力量是可以实用的,使用它们。描述你的感觉向这样:“我愤怒因为我需要被倾听你却没有时间。”

2.Choose. Being angry is a tough, but vital, time to make a choice. Knowing your choices in advance is essential to your maturity as a person. Whether or not one accepts your choices, they still are valid. Take responsibility. Introspect and decide, for yourself first, what your choice is in the matter. An example of decisive thought: "I would prefer if you would leave right now for me to calm down and think."

2.选择。愤怒是一个艰苦的时刻,却也是做决定的重要时刻。懂得你的选择是你成熟的必要条件。无论别人是否接受你的选择,它们都是有价值的。负起责任来。首先要反省并做相互决定,在这件事情上你怎么选择。一个决定性的想法例子:“我更想你现在离开让我安静思考。”

3. Make an affirmation. As in, "Here I am." By clarifying your choices, you realize values fundamentally important to you at the same time. It's a safe bet that you got angry because one of these very values was threatened in the conflict. You can express it as: "It is important for us to be available to each other; it is something that I consider necessary." Take time to enjoy the values that make you who you are. Feel your power emerge when you say, "I firmly believe that what I have to say deserves to be heard, and can make a difference."

3.作出主张。像是说,“我在这里。”你会认识到对你来说重要的价值,在确定你的选择的同时。你会生气是因为其中某个价值在冲突中受到威胁。你可以这样表达:“我们双方都有空闲是重要的;这是我认为必须的。”花时间去享受这些让你成为自己的价值。当你这样说的时候会有种力量出现,“我坚信我所说的值得去听,并且是有关系的。”

4. Open up to others. This involves letting known the requirements, expectations or the circumstances that I expect in my relationships. As humans, we cannot demand changes in people we love. The challenge is to keep an open heart, even if the other's behavior has not changed. This can manifest itself as, "Despite our differences, I continue to appreciate the person you are." We must also allow others to speak (since listening is also a valuable action). Nothing works better than, "I'm listening."

4.向他们打开心扉。这会涉及到我在人际关系中所期待的需求,期望或者环境。作为人类,我们不能要求我们爱的人改变。问题的关键就是保持一颗开放的心,即使别人的行为并没有改变。这表明,“尽管我们会不同,我仍然感谢你就是你。”我们也必须允许他人去讲(因为听本来就是一个有价值的行为)。没什么能比得过它了,“我在听。”

5. Anchor yourself. Now that you're clear about your needs and personal values, you must act. The fifth step involves action, and can be expressed by a verbal agreement with the person at issue. This can be expressed as, "I pledge to…” (e.g., listen with sincerity, make myself more available, and so on).

5. 定位你自己。既然你已经清楚的了解你的需求和个人价值,你必须行动起来。第五个步骤就是行动,可以在争论中用言语去同意他人的观点。可以这样表达,“我保证......”(举例来说,真诚的去听,让自己更有价值,等等)。

Through this process, I suffered more, but I take back my power. A feeling of security and self-esteem solid settled. Once adopted by the repressed anger, my vitality starts to move and my life is more creative.

通过这些方法,我感受到更多,但同时我也拥有了力量。一种自我尊重和安全的感觉已经牢固在心里。一旦用到压抑的愤怒里,我开始变得有活力,并且我的生活更加富有创造性。

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