原作者：
来源Grow your Emotional Intelligence
译者Lynnjl
If you do not control your negative emotions, then they will control you! Emotional intelligence is a term we often hear. What is it all about? Can we really free ourselves from our negative emotions? Here is how to enrich the understanding of your emotions!
如果你不能控制负面情绪，将会被其所控制！我们经常会听到情商这个词，那么它到底指什么呢？我们能否摆脱负面情绪的控制？现在我们带你深入了解你的情绪。
What is Emotional Intelligence?
什么是情商？
我们所向往的生活是能够时刻感受到积极的情绪。我们内心所感受到的就是情绪。情绪也会驱使我们去做一些重要的事情，比如说向我们所爱的人表白。
When we want to improve our lives, we want to live with positive emotions. All we feel is emotions. These are also emotions that drive us to do important things, like confess our love to our beloved.
In his book emotional Intelligence, published in 1995, American psychologist Daniel Goleman popularized the idea that our emotions play an important role in our well-being and our relationships. We define emotional intelligence as the ability to interact with each other on an emotional level. It is being linked to the knowledge of our own emotions and the ability to recognize and gain access to the emotions of others.
在美国心理学家Daniel Goleman1995年出版的《情商》一书中，他提出情绪对于我们的幸福与人际关系都有着很重要的作用。因此，我们将情商定义为能够在情绪层面与人交流的能力。它包括对自身情绪的认知以及对他人情绪的认识和理解能力。
The intelligence of emotions plays an important role in our lives. If a person at work is extremely competent in his job, but nobody wants to work with her because she is unable to interact with others, there is a risk of problems and conflicts in the office.
情商在我们的日常生活中非常重要。如果一个人虽然在工作上很有能力，但却因为她不能和其它人交流，没有人愿意和其一起工作，那么在办公室里就会出现诸多问题和矛盾。
Our Emotions Speak to Us
情绪告诉我们的
What can we do to feel our emotions more and enjoy better relationships with others? By learning about our emotions. All our emotions are designed to give us one great message: Prepare yourself for something. But the message of course, has some subtleties!
那么我们怎么才能更好的感受到我们的情绪，并与他人良好相处呢？方法只有一个——通过学习情绪。情绪无一例外的传达给我们一个重要信息：要准备做些什么了。但是，这个信息却非常微妙。
For example, fear suggests you just prepare yourself for what may happen to be negative. So if you are afraid to fail an activity, fear will suggest you to better prepare yourself to succeed. This message is positive! Unfortunately, we do not always have the time to listen to our emotions. Worse, we let ourselves be overwhelmed by their message without understanding it and we magnify the effect of certain emotions by feeding on negative thoughts.
比方说，害怕说明你即将遇到一些负面的东西。因此，当你害怕失败时，恐惧实际上在暗示你一定要成功。这个信息是非常正面的。但是，实际上我们并没有认真聆听我们的情绪。更糟糕的是我们总是因为没有真正理解这个信息而被其搞得不知所措，而且由于过多的负面思想，我们放大了情绪所带来的影响。
We must stress the importance of listening to our emotions and not the guesses as we often do: "I'm sad, it must be because of this lousy weather.”
必须强调的一点就是要聆听情绪，而不是我们通常的做法：只是猜测，比如“我很伤心，肯定是因为这讨厌的天气”。
Free Ourselves from Negative Emotions
摆脱负面情绪
A widespread view is the strong belief that we cannot cope with our emotions. Yet nothing is further from the truth. We are mainly responsible for our emotions, which arise, from our thoughts. Therefore, we have power over certain parts of our lives, which can be sometimes very unpleasant
我们所普遍接受的一个观点是我们不可能控制情绪。但事实并非如此。我们的情绪是从思想中而来，那么我们就要为其负责了。因此，我们完全有能力控制生活中不好的一方面。
We often hide our weaknesses and our discomfort behind the justifications that prevent us from identifying the source of problems and resolve them. For example, some people justify their thoughts and negative attitudes by saying they are pessimistic. ‘It is the tree that hides the forest’. Their pessimism is perhaps the result of fear and anxiety they experience while facing what they cannot and do not control.
我们经常以各种正当的理由来掩饰我们的软弱和不适，这样却无法让我们看清问题本原，解决问题。比如说一些人认为他们的负面思想和态度是因为他们太悲观了。这简直是一叶障目。他们的悲观很可能是因为在面对无法控制的情况时的恐惧和焦虑所导致的。
Our negative emotions create a devastating impact on our lives, hence the importance of mastering them! This is also the case of emotional intelligence.
负面情绪对我们的生活有着毁灭性的影响，因此掌控它们非常重要。这也是情商的一部分。
Some Examples of Messages from Your Emotions
情绪所传达的信息
1. The discomfort usually tells you to change your status and plan on what to do to restore a good level of comfort.
1.不适表明你要转换状态，并要有计划地恢复舒适的状态。
2. Aggression against a person or a situation means that a rule or a value important to you has been violated. Emotion tells you to do what it takes to restore equilibrium.
2.对某人或某事产生敌对说明你自身的原则或价值观受到了侵犯。情绪告诉你要恢复平静。
3. The disappointment means that your expectations are not met. You can change the way you view your expectations.
3.失望代表你的希望落空了。此时，你应该重新审视你的期望。
4. Guilt means that you have violated your own values and you have to do what it takes to recover.
4.内疚说明你触犯了自己的价值底线，你需要做些什么来恢复。
Cultivating Positive Emotions
培养积极情绪
You can enjoy your negative emotions for only one reason: they allow you to improve .Are you really able to work on yourself when things are going well? Once we agree to confront our negative emotions, we put ourselves in a good position to understand our difficulties. How to do it?
对于负面情绪，只有一个原因让我们喜欢它：它们让我们变得更好。那么当事态逐渐变好时，我们能够从容应对吗？一旦我们选择面对负面情绪，我们就选择了去理解现时的困难。那么接下来该怎么做呢？
1. Identify what happens. Any emotional discomfort means that you must change your state.
1.弄清楚现在的状况。任何情绪上的不适都表明你必须要转换状态了。
2. Make a plan. Clarify your thoughts and attitudes about what you really want. Whatever you have and what does this mean? Clarifying what you feel over the situation will help you out.
2.制定详细的计划。要明白自己到底想要什么。你现在所拥有的到底意味着什么？梳理一下你对事情的情绪有助于你脱离困境。
3.行动。时刻注意你的负面思想。千万不要坐在那里说什么“我不要这样”，“我会害羞的”，“我没那个能力”。你必须要采取行动来改变整个事态。
3. Take action. Be aware of negative thoughts that you maintain in connection with the situation. Do not sit by saying "I reject the offer," "I'm shy," "I am incapable", etc. You must take an action to improve the situation!
Obviously, like all learning processes, mastery of your negative emotions requires effort. The good news? The more you practice, the more you enrich the understanding of your emotions!
显然，就像学习一样，对负面情绪的掌控也是需要付出努力的。但好消息是，你练习的越多，就越能加深对情绪的理解。
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