婚前十五问|你们真的准备好迎接婚姻生活了吗?
文:麦子熟了
结婚前必需了解对方的哪些情况才能嫁?你们真的准备好迎接共同的生活了吗?
著名的《纽约时报》“婚前十五问”,列出了婚前必需了解的15个关键问题。如果你们在这些问题上存在分歧,在结婚之前不如先思考如何解决。
关于孩子
1、我们要不要孩子?如果要,主要由谁来负责?
Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
关于理财
2、我们的家庭赚钱能力及目标是什么?消费观及储蓄观会不会发生冲突?
Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
关于主内主外
3、我们的家庭如何维持?由谁来掌握可能出现的风险?
Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
关于病史
4、我们有没有详尽地交换过双方的疾病史?包括精神上的。
Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
关于相爱
5、我们互相爱的程度,达到彼此的预期了吗?
Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
关于性爱
6、我们是否能自然、坦诚地说出自己的性需求、性的偏好及恐惧?
Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
关于生活
7、卧室会放电视机吗?
Will there be a television in the bedroom?
关于沟通
8、我们真的能倾听对方诉说,并公平对待对方的想法和抱怨吗?
Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
关于信仰
9、我们清晰地了解对方的精神需求和信仰吗?我们讨论过孩子将来的信仰问题吗?
Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
关于朋友
10、我们喜欢并尊重对方的朋友吗?
Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
关于父母
11、我们能不能看重并尊敬对方的父母?我们有没有考虑过父母可能会干涉我们的关系?
Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
关于家族
12、我的家庭最让你心烦的事情是什么?
What does my family do that annoys you?
关于坚守
13、有没有什么事情,是我们永远不会因为婚姻而放弃的?
Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
关于牺牲
14、如果我们中的一人需要离开其家族所在地陪同另一个人到外地工作,做得到吗?
If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
关于信心
15、我们是不是充满信心面对婚姻里的任何挑战?
Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?
结婚之前,先问问彼此这15个问题。如果你们都准备好了,赶紧开始一段新的旅程吧。
原题:嫁还是不嫁?
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