别自以为是！学习这个增加自信的诀窍

译者 whw668

Nobody cares about you. Furthermore, nobody thinks about you, watches you, keeps track of what you’re wearing, or notices the words you mispronounce. And yes, this is wonderful news! Why? Nearly all of us, nearly all the time, are deathly afraid we’ll say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, or just generally look like a complete idiot. Think you’re different?

没人在乎你。此外，没有人想要你，看你，留意你穿什么，或发现你的口误。是的，这是好消息！为什么？几乎我们所有的人，在几乎所有的时间，都怕说错话、做错事或看起来像个十足的傻瓜。你不是这样吗？

When you walk into a networking event, what are you thinking? When you are introduced to someone new, are you trying to remember their name or are you instead thinking of something witty or clever to say to make a good impression? Do you have any fear when you are in a job interview? Are you petrified to give a public speech? Do you resist speaking up in a meeting even if you think you might have something important to share?

当你走进一个交流会，你在想些什么？当你被介绍给一个陌生人，你在试图记住他们的名字吗？或你在找诙谐或聪明的话来说，以留下一个好印象吗？你工作面试时害怕吗？你公开演讲时会石化吗？即使你认为有重要的事情要分享，你也在会上忍住不发言吗？

I think to some degree, all of us have this fear of constantly being watched, criticized, and judged. It might motivate a few to do their best work, but for most, this haunting belief that we always have to be “on” can be paralyzing. Why take a chance — even a seemingly small chance — if you think everyone is watching and ready to judge you? You don’t speak up in the meeting. You socialize with colleagues at a networking event instead of connecting with someone new. You resist sharing a good story that highlights your skills as the perfect job candidate. In your effort to look your best, you focus too much on yourself and how others will perceive you instead of your work and what’s most important. Nobody performs well under constant scrutiny — real or imagined.

某种程度上，我们都害怕不断被注视、被通报批评和被审判。虽然这有可能激励几个人去竭尽全力工作，但对大多数人来说，这个萦绕心头的、每时每刻都必须使用的信心，会被麻痹。为什么冒险一试——即使是看似很小的机会——当你认为每个人都在注视并准备评价你吗？你不必在会上毫无保留。你在交流会上和同行交际，而不是和完全不熟悉的人。你分享一个好故事，来突出你的能力，就像一个十全十美的应试者。努力打扮自己，你太过注重自己和别人如何看你，而不是你的工作和你最重要的东西。没有人表现得很好在不断的审视下——无论真实的还是想象中的。

In fact, psychologists use the term “imaginary audience” to describe this heightened state of vigilance that is especially strong during adolescence. An imaginary audience is this belief that we have a group or followers that are watching, dissecting, and judging our every move. But the keyword here is “imagined.”

事实上，心理学家使用术语“想像的观众”去描述这个高度警觉的状态，在青少年时期这种状态尤为强烈。相信有虚构的观众，相信有一群关注者正在看、研究、评判我们的一举一动。但关键词就是“虚构的”。

You are not the center of the universe. Nobody really cares about your every move. Nobody is watching, and if they happen to be, they are far less concerned with what you are doing and much more focused on what YOU are thinking about them. That’s the irony of this. You think you are so important that everyone cares what you do, when in fact, everyone is so preoccupied with themselves that they don’t even notice or care what you are doing.

你不是宇宙的中心。没有人真正关心你的每一个动作。没有人看，如果他们在看，他们更少关心你在做什么，更专注于你怎么看他们呢。这是具有讽刺意味的。你认为你是如此的重要，每个人都关心你做了什么，而实际上，每个人是如此全神贯注于他们自己，他们甚至没有发掘或在乎你正在做的事情。

And while this realization that you are not the center of everyone’s universe may depress you initially, I hope you’ll find that it is actually a huge blessing in disguise. Why? It’s lets you take chances without fear of judgment. You can raise your hand, speak your mind, share your ideas, and take bold risks without (significant) consequences. And here’s the interesting part . . . the second you realize there is no imaginary audience critiquing your every move and the less you care what others think, the more freedom you’ll have to do your best work.

当领悟到这一层——你不是每个人的宇宙的中心，一开始可能会使你变得沮丧，我希望你会发现它其实是一个巨大的恩惠。为什么？这让你敢于冒险，因为你没有恐惧和别人的评判。你能举起你的手，说出你的想法，分享你的想法，并大胆冒险而没有（不可忽略的）的后果。这是很有趣的部分。其次，你会意识到没有想象中的观众会评判你的每一个动作,你越来越不在乎别人怎么想，你就会自然地去尽力做好工作。

Of course, once you start doing your best work, that imaginary audience might not be in your head — people might then actually start to notice you . . .

当然，一旦你开始尽力做好工作，想象的观众可能不是只在你的脑海中——人们就可能会开始注意到你...