职场必备：婉转地批评人

　　Your boss tells you that you did a bad job. Your coworker criticizes you in front of your whole team. Ouch! It's not easy to take criticism, no matter who it comes from. But, it is easy to soften the blow when you offer criticism to someone in English. Merely by altering your wording and your attitude, you can help someone grow as opposed to making them feel defeated。

　　你的老板说你的工作表现不好。你的同时在你的团队面前批评你。噢，不管谁在批评，总是不容易接受的。但是，当你委婉使用英语来批评某人是较容易接受的。只需要改变一点点你说的话及态度，你能帮那些人成长而非是他们感到挫败。

　　Avoid direct accusations

　　Phrases like "You're wrong!" and "Your presentation was terrible!" have no place in effective criticism. In fact, it's best to leave the word "you" out, if at all possible. Personal attacks make people feel defensive, and then they won't really listen to anything you have to say。

　　避免正面指责

　　一些表达的方式像是"You're wrong!"及"Your presentation was terrible!"皆不是有效的批评。事实上，如果可能的话，舍去“你”这个字。个人攻击将使人们会使人自我防御，然后他们将不会听进去你说的任何话。

　　Soften with compliments

　　Before starting with the criticism, warm the person up with compliments. If you are discussing their work, find several things you truly like about what they have done. For example, "I enjoyed your presentation today. You presented a lot of good and helpful information in it, and I can tell you put a lot of effort into it. I appreciate your hard work." This will lower their defenses and make them feel appreciated。

　　说些和蔼赞美的话

　　在给予批评以前，先说一些赞美的话给对方暖身暖身。如果你正在探讨他人的工作，找一些你真的喜欢他们所做过的事。例如："I enjoyed your presentation today. You presented a lot of good and helpful information in it, and I can tell you put a lot of effort into it. I appreciate your hard work."这将减少他们的防卫自己并让他们有欣慰之意。

　　Don't continue with "but"

　　However, a short, vague compliment followed by “but” such as "It was a helpful talk, but you really need to improve your presentation skills" won’t do much to help the process. After you've shared your compliments, allow them time to be absorbed. Immediately following your compliment with a "but" will destroy all you've tried to accomplish by making your praise seem false and insincere。

　　切勿使用'but'

　　不管如何，由一些'but'的简短模糊赞美，像是："It was a helpful talk, but you really need to improve your presentation skills."将对于事情不会有太大的帮助。在你已经分享你的赞美之后，允许他们有吸收它的时间。立刻接着马上

　　Advise with advice

　　Remember that the goal of constructive criticism isn't to make the person feel terrible; it's to help them grow. Instead of directly accusing the person, try to get the message through to them in the form of light-hearted advice. Phrases like, "Next time you might want to ? or "I find it helpful to ? can take away the blame while still leaving an impact: "Next time you might want to give a little more attention to the audience. I find it helpful to look people in the eyes while I am speaking."

　　给出建议

　　记住：有建设性的建议的目标不是让对方难受，而是帮助人成长。避免直接的指责他人，试着将讯息以轻松愉快的方式传达给对方。表达方式像是："Next time you might want to "或"I find it helpful to "当仍然带有冲击性的时候可以冲淡指责意味："Next time you might want to give a little more attention to the audience. I find it helpful to look people in the eyes while I am speaking."

　　Stay specific

　　People can't change overnight, especially if they don't get detailed direction. Simply saying "you need to work on your presentation skills" won't help a soul! Be detailed in your advice, and don't overload anyone with criticism. Remember, you want them to keep trying and improving. Don't leave them feeling defeated!

　　明确的表达

　　人是无法一夜之间改变的，尤其当他们无法获得详细引导的时候。简单地说："you need to work on your presentation skills"对于心灵将没有帮助！将你的建议详细些，不要给予负荷不了的批评。记得，你希望他们是不断的尝试及改进。不要使他们感到如此挫折！

    本文选自《外研社》的博客

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    A guy says, "For our Twentieth Anniversary, I'm taking my wife to Australia."

    His friend says, "That's going to be tough to beat. What are you going to do for your Twenty-fifth Anniversary?"

    The first guy says, "I'm going to go back and get her."

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