译者 Winfry
My Family Rules! 5 Rituals To Establish a Close Knit Family
家有家规！营造相亲相爱的家庭氛围的5大秘籍
Post written by Sherri
本帖写自雪莉
I love how close my family is. I have two younger sisters and we’re always there for each other and support each other every chance we get. This is what I wish for my two boys, a close relationship with each other and with my husband and me. We actively work on developing routines and habits for our family and although our two boys are still very young what better time to start than now?
我喜欢我家人之间的亲密无间。我有两个妹妹，当我们中的任何一个需要帮助时，另外两个总会陪伴左右。这也是我对我的两个儿子的期望。我希望他们兄弟俩能无话不谈，当然，跟我们交谈时也能这样。 为此， 我们积极探索符合有助于培养良好生活习性的规则，虽然两个孩子都还小，但我觉得没有比现在开始培养更适合了。
I have found over the past year and a half that consistency, predictability and simplicity have been key with my eldest son. With that in mind, we have begun to establish rituals, or rules, that we hope will make our family closer today and into the future. Here are 5 family rules that we have implemented so far.
在过去一年半的实践中，我发现我的大儿子已经有言行统一，做事有考虑和不浪费的意识。鉴于此，我们开始设立规则，希望能让我们现在的家庭关系更为融洽甚至在将来走向更好。以下就是我们现行的5大规则：
1. Family dinners.
1.享受家庭聚餐
Every night we sit down at the table and have dinner together as a family (with no TV). I think this is one of the easiest and most important ritual to have as a family. Eating meals as a family brings everyone together, creates a sense of belonging, allows you to work on table manners, and it promotes talking which also improves communication skills. Keeping it light and positive will add to the enjoyment for everyone.
每晚我们关掉电视机，一家人围坐在桌旁吃晚饭。我认为这是一个再简单不过而且十分重要的营造家庭氛围的规则。一家人坐在一起吃饭，家庭成员聚在一起，归宿感油然而生。这样还培养了大家的餐桌礼仪，更创造机会增进彼此间的交流和提高与人沟通的能力。尽量使谈话轻松自由，如此大家都更能享受这美好时刻。
2. Family meetings.
开家庭会议
My husband and I started having family meetings every Sunday evening. These meetings give us a chance to re-group and discuss things that were done in the past week that either annoyed us or that we were grateful for. We find that open and honest communication does wonders for our relationship and we want to instill this in our two boys as well.
我和丈夫每到星期天晚上一起开家庭会议。家庭会议给我们一个重新审视家庭关系的机会，我们一起讨论一周里那些令人烦心的事或是值得我们感激的事。通过会议，我们发现敞开心扉吐露心声对我们的关系发挥着奇妙的作用，由此我们也让两个儿子加入家庭会议。
3. Limit solitary activities.
限制单独行动
While yes it is important to have some alone time to recharge or have a break, too much alone time can cause alienation and disconnect from your kids. Limit activities that kids do on their own and substitute with activities you can do as a family. In the spirit of setting up family rituals from day one, we enrolled our eldest son in swimming lessons when he was 6 months old. My husband would take him in the water and I would sit on the side lines watching, cheering and oozing with pride. I loved watching my little one experience the pool for the first time and it really set the tone for how we would like our family to share experiences in the future.
虽然孩子应该有自己的空间去忙自己的事或是暂时休息一下，但是太多的独处时间会导致家庭关系疏远，更会与造成父母与孩子间的隔阂。要限制孩子们单独行动，代之以家庭集体活动。一开始本着设立家规的精神，在大儿子满6个月我们就给他报了游泳班。每次老公带孩子下水时，我都会坐在泳池旁看着并为儿子加油，脸上满溢自豪。我喜欢看着我的小宝贝体验第一次下水，这真坚定了我们期望未来一家人一起共同经历的决心。
4. Night time routine.
按时就寝
We established a night time routine very early on for our first son and we still use it (now with two little ones). It wasn’t always smooth sailing but now we are very fortunate to have babies who love their sleep. Napping isn’t usually a struggle and neither is bedtime. As I said earlier, kids thrive on consistency, predictability and simplicity. Our bed time routine is simple and includes every member of our family. After dinner we usually have a play with the two boys (our eldest is really into wrestling on the floor). 7:00pm is bath time, 7:30 it’s pj’s and milk, 7:50pm it’s into bed, we read a story and then it’s lights out by 8pm. This routine works really well for us and now the kids have learned to expect it and count on it to get them in sleep mode.
我们很早就规定大儿子的就寝时间，现在两个儿子都同样按我们规定的时间就寝。刚开始时并不是那么容易让孩子按时睡觉，但现在我们十分开心的看到两个儿子都爱上睡觉了。不管是小睡或是晚上休息时间孩子们都很容易入睡了。我们的就寝规定很简单，它对所有家庭成员都有约束力。晚饭后我们通常都会跟孩子们玩一会，到了七点半就给他们洗澡然后喝杯牛奶，七点五十到了睡觉时间，我们就会给他们讲故事哄他们入睡，八点钟熄灯。这个规定很奏效，现在孩子巴不得赶快到睡觉时间好让他们进入睡眠状态。
5. Clean up.
餐后清理
Cleaning up is a family affair. After dinner we both pitch in and clean up the kitchen and clear off the table. After the kids are in bed and down for the night we do a quick sweep of the play areas to “reset” for the next day. It helps to not step on hard plastic or wooden toys and waking up to a clean and tidy home is something I LOVE. When the boys are old enough they won’t be getting off scot-free either they will have their duties and responsibilities to help clean up with the rest of us. They will feel like they are contributing to the upkeep of the family home and it will also teach them not to take things for granted.
大扫除是件家务活。晚饭后老公和我一起清理厨房和擦洗餐桌。夜晚，当孩子们都入睡后，我们就快速清理了孩子们的“游乐场”，让它们焕然一新。这样就避免我们绊到硬塑料或者是木玩偶，我认识到整收拾干净屋子是我喜欢做的事。当孩子们长到惹事的年纪，处罚是不可避免的。那时，他们就有责任帮我们清理屋子。这样他们会觉得自己对持家有贡献，还教会他们不再认为这些事都是我们应该为他们做的。
These are 5 rules that we have implemented in our home that have helped us become a very tight knit family already. Granted a lot of what I’ve mentioned here will change as the kids grow but the general sentiment will certainly be the same. I believe that each person needs to feel that they belong and are a valued member of the family. I also feel it’s important for kids to be allowed to have a voice, express opinions and to be heard. Leading by example and setting good family values will benefit your family for life.
现在这5条家规已经帮助我们建立了一个相亲相爱的和谐之家。虽然我在此所说大部分会随着孩子的长大而改变，但初衷必定不会变。我坚信每个人都需要确定自己在家庭中有自己尊贵的位置，我还了解给孩子表达自己观点的自由，做孩子的倾听者是十分重要的。
Do you have family rituals or rules that help bring your family together? What are they? Do you think they’re important? Is it ever too late to start?
你家是否有家规让家庭成员间更为紧密呢？要是有，那都有些什么样的规定呢？你认为它们是不是很重要呢？要是没有，现在开始还为时不晚吧？
